My BF (22) and I (20) recently started couples therapy to break away from our cycle of fighting. For months now my BF has been struggling with assuming that I’m going to start an argument without me ever hinting at it and preemptive anger issues as a result of the same. We decided 2 months ago that going to therapy would be necessary if we wanted our relationship to work long term.

A few days ago my BF’s serious ex girlfriend and first love texted him saying “what’s up” I recognized the phone number even though he hadn’t saved it. I told him he’s gotten a message on his phone and he saw the same and locked himself in the bathroom for about 5 mins before coming out and pretending like nothing had happened. I went on with the day as usual because I didn’t want to make it a big deal and I also wanted him to be the one to tell me.

We had therapy the very next day during which I mentioned this story and he immediately blew up. He started yelling at me accusing me of contacting her first calling me a liar and then when I started crying he said “great go ahead pretend like you’re scared” and slammed the laptop (we do virtual therapy) closed. He then proceeded to tell me to “get the f** out” of his apartment and that he “couldn’t deal with this today”. I was sobbing uncontrollably and begging him to just stop rejoin therapy and talk with me, as he packed my stuff up and told me he “wasn’t going to let (me) be comfortable at his place” and that today was “ruined” because I should’ve brought this up to him before therapy instead of blindsiding him at therapy.

Every time I talk about my feelings he says “well then just leave me if I’m so horrible and I make you so sad”

I do love him a lot and don’t know if I’m truly in the wrong here. AITAH?