I (19F) recently graduated high school and am taking a gap year before college. My sister (28F) has a 4 year old son and is a single mom. I help out when I can, but I’m not a fulltime babysitter.

On Saturday my sister texted me asking if I could watch her son that night because she got tickets last minute to see one of her favorite bands. I told her I already had plans. She asked what kind of plans, and I said I was going over to a friend’s house for a movie night and to catch up the next day since we haven’t seen each other since the start of the year and she’s super important to me.

She got kind of snippy and said that didn’t count as “real plans” because I wasn’t working or going to an event, and that she really needed this night out. I told her I understood, (because I do, I see how hard she works at being a mum and she is a great mum) but also my plans are important to me too. She got mad and told me I was being selfish and inconsiderate when she barely ever gets time to herself. She ended up having to stay home and sent me a passive-aggressive message saying, “Hope your movie night was worth it.”

Now my mom says I should’ve just helped her out, that it’s family, and I wasn’t doing anything “important” anyway. I feel bad because I do love my nephew and I know my sister’s life is hard, but I also feel like I’m allowed to have boundaries and not drop everything just because I don’t have kids of my own and when I do have kids on my own I think I wouldn’t expect someone to look after them at the drop of a hat as my life is just as yours…

Idk maybe iamtah because I am very aware that It’s really hard to find time when you are a parent, ehhh I feel so bad!