My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now and for the majority of our relationship we have been long distance. We were friends for over a year before we got together and decided to try and make a relationship work about a month before she moved to a different country for university. Because of this the time we see each other is very limited but we do the best we can as I’ll drive to see her whenever I can and she’ll drive back to see her family and me when she is on break from her work.

The problem started about a week before she came back for Easter, she planned to come down for 10 days and told me she wanted to bring one of her friends with her but that would mean she couldn’t see me for the first 5 days of her being down. We got into a small argument about this and I questioned why I couldn’t see her at all when her friend was down and my she responded with “I’ve already cancelled on her so can we not argue about this.” This wasn’t what I wanted and I tried explaining that but she didn’t want to talk

Over the next 2 weeks we barely spoke even tho I tried calling and texting her she wouldn’t hear me out. When she came back she brought her friend but still wouldn’t talk to me so we spent the first week of her being down not talking.

Eventually she text me again and we saw each other to talk about it. She said the reason she stopped talking to me is because what I was saying over text reminded her of her dad and when her dad does that she just ignores him. I’ve met her dad and from what she has told me they’re relationship is extremely rocky and it kind of hurt me that she would compare me to him but she wouldn’t tell me what I said that made her think that and that “I shouldn’t have to tell you, you should realise by yourself”.

I understand why she would think this but I honestly have no idea what I could of said to make her think this and I tried to assure her that I must have meant it in a different way because I wouldn’t want to treat her the way her dad does but she still refuses to tell me.

I don’t want to have the rest of our relationship stepping on egg shells around her because I don’t know if I’ll remind her of her dad but I don’t know how to convince her to tell me what I did wrong.

So AITAH for trying to get her to tell me what I said wrong?

Any advice on the best way to deal with this would also be appreciated.