My husband and I have been married 3 years. We have a 2yr old and I am 17wks pregnant right now. My husband and I lived in TN and his family lived in FL. My entire pregnancy his family begged us to move to FL because it takes a village and we would need their support once our son came. My MIL told us that she would stay home with our son so we didn’t have to worry about child care and we could stay with them until we got settled. It sounded wonderful! When my son was 6mths old we were ready to move. We had sold our home, quit our jobs, cashed out 401ks to buy a home in FL. When we get here, MIL says that she’s going to try to stay home with my son but my FIL just spends way too much money so she doesn’t know if they can afford it… okay - we just changed our entire lives and you lied. But I knew I couldn’t be upset because if staying home with my child meant they couldn’t afford their bills then of course she needs to continue working. We just had to majorly change our plans. I immediately put my son on daycare waitlists and we started house hunting. I mean we were already there - stuff in storage and home in TN sold!! My son starts daycare a month later and I begin working and we submit an offer on a home. We found the cheapest house in town and bought it out of foreclosure. It was horrible and had to be completely gutted to concrete and studs. But we put in the work - both of us working full time jobs and have a 6 mth old and working on this house every night to get it move in ready. We live with in laws while we renovate our home - and our timeline is never fast enough for my FIL. He would see me at their house with my son and ask why I’m not working on the house and that I’ll never get it done being lazy. I would say no one can watch my baby and he would call me lazy and insinuate that I’m just a freeloader. Everyday “the house isn’t going to finish itself” “I would have already been done. You use work and that baby as an excuse”. After 4 months of that we don’t have the best relationship anymore… but we get the house done and move in and thank god for a break - it is not easy living with in laws especially mine. We fall into our own routine. Daycare drop offs, work, pick up, dinner. And the whole time my in laws do not help. Sure my MIL might keep him one Friday a month or the invite us out to dinner with them but they never actually help. They never pick my son up while he’s sick at school and im stuck at work. Never take him to the dr. Never ask what he needs. Never just swing by to see us while I’m off on the weekends. And they live 10 mins down the street. This really starts to eat at me because what village did we even move here for? And then there was the financial stress. See we are barely afloat here due to the costs of childcare and cost of living adjustments. My husband works a unionized job and has made the same money since 2020. I moved jobs twice in a year trying to earn more pay and have better hours for my son. The one raise I got we were just met with daycare costs increase. Never getting ahead. My husband’s brother even moved in and rents a room to help with our mortgage type of struggle. My in laws never helped us once even though they saw the struggle. They actually stopped inviting us out to eat because I told them we can’t afford it anymore. But they continually bought my son all these toys and four wheelers and such - but the toys were only for their house. And also the whole time we are trying to financially make it here - my in laws are buying new cars, RVs, taking cruises, and going to Disney world every other week. Then I unexpectedly got pregnant. Not planned and complete shock. And instant stress. We can barely afford one kid in daycare how can we afford an infant rate?? We have a heart to heart with our in laws and ask for help. We ask if my MIL could please go part time. We didn’t think this was that much of an ask because she has told us they don’t even need her income to make it but my FIL spends a lot of money. This starts a whole argument. My FIL says “why should we change our way of life for you? You got to figure it out because life doesn’t give handouts. We struggled at your age too and you got to do better. If you didn’t live above your means then you would be fine” this is what set me off. We do not live above our means. We have one car pmt, two credit cards and a mtg. That is it. We don’t buy nice things, we don’t drive new cars, we don’t take vacations. They do all that. But you can’t make people change their ways I guess. And just yesterday I was crying from all the stress of finances to my MIL. I was telling her I’m going to have to work full time nights and stay home with the kids during the day while my husband works but I’m going to run myself down doing that. And I don’t have maternity leave at my job so I don’t even know how I’m going to afford to take off work to have this baby. My MIL told me that I’ll have to figure it out and it’s hard but I’ll get through. Then last night they buy a brand new BMW… the reason for the upgrade - so my MIL can comfortably fit two car seats. You don’t even take my one kid places!! You are getting a new luxury vehicle to have more car seat room and I don’t even know how I’m going to take off work to have this baby. My heart is broke and I feel so done. I told my husband I want to move back to TN and be near my family and go back to my old job where I made great money. But he doesn’t want to leave because he says “it’s nice for me to have my family here” what about me? They treat me so bad and they are the most materialistic people I have ever met. I now know they lied to get us here - said whatever they needed to get their son and grandson back to them. My husband says I’m being hormonal and we just got to make to work. But I’m done living here.