So some context. My MIL and I have had a rocky relationship. Because I don't take verbal abuse and stand up to her. Awe she's used to getting her own way and everyone caves to her demands. If not she yells, swears and cuts contact with people to punish them. This is why my partner and I moved an hour away.

She also hasn't dealt with my transition well despite knowing about my gender disphoria in the first 2 weeks of meeting their kid (my spouse of 8 years) only recently has she started to use my legal name which is 1 letter off my birth name...

Anyway, my partner and I are hosting Easter this year as we did last year. We invited my brother, his wife, their kids, my partners parents and their sister+her husband. I caught wind that my MIL wanted us to come to their jouse because she injured her foot 6 months ago and being in the car for an hour is too hard. She didn't tell me but I heard about this.

So to get ahead of the eventual blow up, I sent a group message reminding everyone what time for Easter and verifying the menu. A day goes by and she finally responds. Normally, she goes off the rails, like last time when she scolded me in the group message because I was planning my spouses birthday and didn't get her permission.

But she responded, apologizing but she can't make it due to her foot, and she feels bad that she won't be able to attend because I'm going through the trouble of cooking.

This is like the first time she's ever responded like this and I didn't know what to say. I immediately sent my sympathies and then...offered to bring her and my FIL some food later on. Like, is rewarding good behavior, the first time I've seen it in 11 years (met my spouse in 2014), making me the AH?