Hello Reddit, buckle up because this one’s a woozy and tbh kind of long. I would like to state though, this incident happened almost a year ago, and I am reposting it because of some new events that happened. If you’d like to skip the backstory leading up to the situation, read the last paragraph.

Here’s a little backstory of everyone involved: 3 years ago I (23F) moved 2hrs away from our hometown with my boyfriend (24M), to go to college. My Filipino bf joined the Filipino club at the university. This club does not discriminate if you are not Filipino but a majority of the members are Filipino, and this club is at almost every university in California so you get special privileges and all that (which is why he joined, however I chose not to). Anyway, in this club you get assigned a mentor based on your application, interest, hobbies, etc. So the board of the club matches you with your ideal mentor (and vise-versa). You are in the club for all of you college years if you choose to be, and usually members become so tight-knit that they hang outside of school/club and even after graduation. In this club, my bf met our current friend group; J (22M), E (19M), & C (19F). In this club, your mentor is also considered your Kuya (older brother) or your Até (older sister), and their older sibs are your Grand (older older brother) and so on, so my bf along with J, E, & C, got their mentor and were set in their family lineage. However, C’s mentor (older sis) ended up dropping her as her mentee because in her words, C and sister did not click and that C was too pushy and weird. So C felt kinda depressed that her mentor left her hanging and asked my bf if he’d like to unofficially become her mentor. He said yes because he grew up as a Bible study youth leader, and he Lovessssss mentoring people.

Now, the story: Right off the bat these people that my bf introduced me to (J, E, & C) were so nice, and so fun to hang out with, which ultimately ended up bring us closer and we went/did everything together. However, before I had met C in person I would notice that my bf would spend a LOT of time with her. And yall, I promise I am NOT the jealous gf because we have a strong and healthy relationship (4yrs) and we have healthy communication, but this girl was calling up my bf at really late hours of the night because she “was depressed” or “needed to talk to someone”. And believe me, I know people have mental health issues and go through hard shit, but when I tell y’all that this girl MADE IT her whole personality. Like, she would blame everything she does (negative or otherwise) on her mental health and how “it’s cuz she has anxiety and is depressed”. Unfortunately though, both me and my bf have had close friends and family either off themselves or go through really dark depressive episodes when we were young, so I understood why he would take her calls or spend a little extra time with her after their night classes. However though, I started to notice that every time we hung out, C would be a little TOO nice to my bf. And part of me thinks it’s because (as she casually stated it) he is the only man who ever gave her the time of day, and “he’s always there for her”. I didn’t let that bother me though bc I trust him. But this girl is like reaaallllyyyy friendly with my bf. & I didn’t think anything of it though because she is 19, and also my bf has never ever given me a reason to not trust him (same with me). C is very open about her relationships and her sex life, to a point where she has inside joke that she tells us every chance she gets, about her ex bf giving her 14 orgasms in one night.. She literally brings up the number 14 like EVERY DAY! Along with the word vagina. For no reason at all! She literally has said she doesn’t know why, she just likes saying the word vagina 💀😭. She also always talks about missing her ex bf (Matt) and how good he was to her, and sweet, and handsome, and all this. (Yall, the reason they broke up was because she was moving from North Cali to South Cali for college, and he stayed in NorCal.. they literally had a mutual breakup as she said, yet she is still heartbroken they aren’t together). But anyway, one day, after we had all hung out a couple times, C began telling the group about her hook ups and her flings and all that, and I began to feel uncomfortable because we had JUST met like a month ago at this point, and yet she was literally talking to us about her SEX life.. and I looked at J and my bf like “am I missing something? 🤨”. Usually, idc what people talk about, because ultimately it’s their life and idgaf, but it was the fact that she was going into explicit detail of her hook ups, and where/when/how it was. Which was kinda gross.. but to each their own. After that, I talked to J about why she is so open like that to people she barely knows (since them 2 were friends for a while before they met us). And he said she is just very open about her sexuality, body, and her relationships, so I kinda left it alone. Until one day she texts my bf in the middle of our date saying “hey, can we talk? I have something to tell you”, which to him could’ve been life or death (he is too nice tbh), but then when he picked up she started telling him how she JUST hooked up with somebody from her dorm, and where it was, and how it was on her scale. And he was like “oh.. uh, okay? Is that all you wanted to call me for? I thought you said it was important”. Then the call ended and I told him it’s really weird that she HAD to call him for that, and how he shouldn’t be picking up her call just because she needs him to. I told him I understood that she means a lot as his mentee and how he loves being a “big brother” to her, but it’s weird that she is THIS comfortable with telling him about her sex life knowing he has a gf. And he said every time she brings it up irl, he shuts it down because he doesn’t want to talk about that stuff with her. But she still tells the other people about her great sex when he is in the room. I ended up texting C after that phone call and was like “hey girl, I know you are regularly open about your sex life and all, but do you mind Not mentioning it when my bf is around, or calling my bf to tell him”. And her response was “oh yeah, I am so sorry. I didn’t know that I was overstepping your boundaries. I just don’t have anyone else to tell accept him and J, and J is in class. Sorry, I won’t do it again”. Then we kinda left it at that, but I was still cautious tbh. After a while though, C and I became closer (along with the rest of the group), and C & I even started going on girl-dates once a week to just catch up and talk about life, since we usually only hung out to study at the library with everyone. We became really close to a point where we would joke to each other a lot, but never saying really mean things or pointing out insecurities, it was always just dumb shit we would do. But on a more regular basis, she would always ask me about me and my relationship with bf, and how bf’s fam is doing, and how are finals treating bf. She never asked about just me and my wellbeing, which I found odd, but again we were getting closer so I thought maybe now she feels comfortable asking without it sounding weird, idk. Regardless I’d answer to not make things weird, but always vague things like “oh we’re good, thank you for asking”. One time she even said TO MY FACE, “Your (bf’s name) really reminds me of my Matt. He is so sweet to me”. And that comment made me really uncomfortable because she’s always talking about Matt and how much she loves him still, and how amazing he is to her. So I was like “uhm.. thank you?? I guess?” More often than not though, she’d ask us ALL to hang out like every day of the week and study, and whenever we did she always cozied up next to bf and talked about what HIS research interest are, and “can you help me do this because I don’t understand but you do”. Y’all, everyone else in the room knows about the specifics because they are all in the same research lab, but noooo my bf was always the one she wanted answering her questions. Tbh I was fed up, and I told her that I was not comfortable with her overstepping my boundaries again, and how we talked about how it makes me feel, yet she still does it. She only ever apologizes, never actually stops, but I’m kind of a pushover tbh? So I never say anything else.

Here’s the incident that prompted my post: On the last week of classes before spring break, C, E, J, and I were texting in our gc, and C texts us and says “Someone just hit on me at the restaurant on campus! 🤭”, and then I jokingly responded with “Suureeee!!! It’s giving self-centered” (which is something we both joke about to one another. We both always say “it’s giving __”, and it has never been an issue). And she completely blew up on me! She said, and I quote, “Op, I feel disrespected every time you make a joke like that when I share something in my life. It makes me feel upset and very uncomfortable.” She said this IN the groupchat. So I was fed up, and already having a bad day and I responded to her IN PRIVATE, “Queen, respectfully how do you think I feel with your relationship with my boyfriend, and how you are constantly needing his attention because you feel overwhelmed? And not to mention the fact that nobody can joke with you cuz you don't wanna be the center of attention, but you can make fun of with us with no hesitation? That's wild.. And next time if you wanna talk about me then tell me about it, don't go out of your way to comment in a groupchat about your problem with me. Thank you ❤️”. Yall, I honestly feel like I was justified in my response, but she ended up cutting contact with me AND my bf after I called her out for making ME feel uncomfortable all this time, because she is always inappropriate around my bf. My bf didn’t know that this happened bc he isn’t in the gc (he never uses his phone unless it’s to message someone, and hardly ever responds to his own mother because he’s either super busy all the time, or simply forgets to text ppl). He found out because I told him after 3 days of C not texting me back, and when I asked how he felt about her not talking to us and what I said, and he said “tbh, I don’t really care? Ultimately it is between you and her, and if she chooses not to talk to me because of this, I am okay with it. But there is not reason for me to do or say anything else because what had to be said was already said on both sides”. Then we left it at that. But 2 days before the new quarter started at school, she EMAILED my bf. EMAILED. MYYY. BF. And she sent him a voice note which said “I am so sorry to say but I am choosing to end our mentorship & our friendship. This is ultimately my decision, and I hope you can understand that I need time to myself, and I can’t do that with you in my life. However, I had a great time with you. You have taught me to find myself, and you have shown me kindness and love that I have never felt before. So thank you for everything that you did for me, and with me, and I hope you have a good life Kuya. I will miss you very much”. Hmmm bf said it’s fine, but C was his one sturdy mentorship he had going for 2 yrs and had put so much effort and time into their friendship, and he was ultimately upset that he didn’t have a mentee anymore, not necessarily because it was her. Am I the asshole for calling her out for allegedly flirting with my bf? Should I have just let her be and stayed out of it until we moved back home after college?

Update: It’s been a year now, and I know this sounds like I’m not over it, but the reason I am posting this again on a diff. Reddit thread is because C just recently posted a very… weird? Cryptic? Post on her spam account, which J sent to me because he knew it was abt my bf. In C’s post, she said this: “I will never forget the times you've helped me see my emotions, let me cry to you, teach me how to read research papers, write good resumes, and help me learn about myself. I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of you. I know you loved me and I loved you too. I'm sure because you're so utilitarian you'd probably accepted us and don't really think of me. I didn't know how much hurt I would be when I saw you again for a prolonged period of time. You've definitely moved on. But you know so have I. Things are changing and moving for both of us. I wish I could speak to you again and tell you everything that's happened. I have a new boyfriend. I'm leading two new projects. I've learned Bisaya. I'm learning to love reading. My grades are amazing. I'm managing my depression better. I have a mentee who I relate with. Being Philipino means everything to me. I wonder who you are now. I wonder how you're like. I'm sure l'll see you in a distant conference from now. But for now, I'm leaving the lab you've inspired me to get into. It's time to leave. I miss our friendship and mentorship, but I had to protect myself. And I don't regret leaving you, but it's times like this, I will miss you. Thank you Kuya for calling me your little and Angel. 2358”

Now, by reading this you are probably thinking “wtf?” I know I am.. because why does it sound like a breakup? Or like a love letter to a long lost lover?? And at the end, when she says “thank you for calling me your angel”, he has never called her that (he confirmed) ever in his life. He said she was most likely referring to her contact in his phone which is “My Little 😇”, which in Filipino culture means little sibling (he is the Kuya/older brother). Is she delusional y’all?? Am I the crazy one?