My brother invited our parents to a local festival-style event. Last night before, my dad called and said they were going and we should come too. I declined because if my brother wanted us there, he would have invited us directly. My dad said I was trying to cause drama and should just go.

Backstory:
Five years ago, my brother and SIL told me I was overstepping boundaries—inviting them to too many events and making them feel obligated. Since then, I’ve pulled back and mostly wait for them to initiate plans. We moved closer after COVID and things have been okay, though still on their terms.

Last year, my SIL said I was pressuring her about a weekly craft club, so I stopped asking weekly. They still make comments—like I shouldn't visit when the parents are over, or that I rely too much on our parents for babysitting, or that my house is too loud for our parents to relax. They think the parents should stay with them when visiting because their home is quieter and their kids don’t wake up as early or will occupy themselves (instead of waking up the grandparents).

So, I told my dad no, and said if he had an issue, he should take it up with my brother—it’s his boundary, not mine. My dad said it was 5 years ago that they sat me down and I should let it go because they haven’t sat me down since then.