My boyfriend (30M) got mad at me (EDIT: 28F) today because.. well for a couple reasons. Basically, we live together, and we're both out of town this week and needed someone to feed our little cat. When I'm home, I try to feed her at least three meals a day. If I go on a work trip, he feeds her twice a day.

He had told me that his friend and his girlfriend were cool with coming over twice a day to feed our cat and play with her a little while we were gone. I offered to pay, my boyfriend said that wasn't necessary. (They're childhood friends) I also offered to ask my friends if they could help somedays bc feeding someone else's car twice a day for a week for free feels like a lot to ask. My boyfriend again says not to worry about it.

Then, today, we both leave on our separate trips. I had fed her this morning a certain amount, thinking that his friend would be coming by in the evening. Then I learn the friend won't be coming by until the next day and that he actually will only be coming once a day, not twice like my boyfriend promised me the week before. So I say I'm not comfortable with that, even if she can survive on one feeding a day, I don't want her to go through that and be so alone. And I go ask my friends if any of them could come by just a couple days this week so she gets two feedings/two playtimes at least a few days. They're in, easy peasy lemon squeeze.

My boyfriend is mad at me for this, and says I'm acting like a helicopter parent who doesn't trust him. He's also mad because a few hours before, I had sent his friend's girlfriend pictures of where we had put the food in the house, a suggestion of using a cup I put next to the bags to measure the food, noting which one is her favorite, and that I usually only give her half a can of wet food per meal. (If it's two meals a day) I say it's not a big deal either way, up to them. I also send pictures of where treats are in case they want to give her some, and I mention that it'd be nice if they could close the door to our bedroom when they leave each day because our cat will pee in there sometimes (likes the comforter or something, idk) but again, said it's all good if they forget, cuz it's just pee. When my boyfriend learns I had also sent the instructions, he tells me that's wild, even more of me being a helicopter parent and that it's worrisome for if we have a kid.

I'm confused because I don't think I'm a helicopter pet parent. I leave her at home alone plenty and do my thing. But she is less than a year old and I don't want her to get behavior/trust issues. He says I'm also controlling because I get frustrated that every time I leave he gives her way more wet food than I do. That's because the wet food is high quality and so expensive that I just use it to supplement her diet not be the main part of the meal. And I'm the one that buys all the food and treats and litter, all of it.

But this is my first time owning a cat, so is it crazy I gave some guidance to our sitters and wanted to have her fed twice a day?