My close friend's birthday was a few months ago and her SO threw her a party. When I received the evite I was excited, but soon realized that it was on a day I was scheduled to work late so I wouldn't be able to attend. When I realized this I reached out and made plans with her, but for a different day with no prior commitments. I knew she was disappointed, but neither of us work 9-5 jobs so I thought she would understand as she has been in the same situation plenty of times.

Things didn't end up going well, we miscommunicated on the timing of our plans and she had some errands come up that she wanted to get done. She backed out of our day together and ended up getting pretty upset with me. Her big issue with the situation is that I didn't go to the party.

For additional background she hosts several gatherings a year with her SO's friends which I am always invited to, but rarely attend for a variety of reasons. These include having a newborn, being allergic to her pets, her not getting along with my husband and her living almost an hour away. I'm feeling guilty for my part in not showing up for her, but I do think my reasoning is valid. AITAH?