My brother has 3 kids. He works to support them but their mum (his wife) doesn't work. She believes that some work is beneath her and therefore refuses to work. As a result, my brother keeps asking me for some money and I keep saying no. Each time I say no, I feel guilty because I like to "spoil myself" and buy nice things - shoes, clothes, bags, etc. I know he works hard to provide for his family which is why I feel inclined to help him out. But my sister tells me that by sending him money, I encourage this behaviour and his wife will NEVER get a job at this rate. How do I nicely hint to him that if his wife worked, they wouldn't need to keep asking for money. Also, AITAH for spoiling myself instead of sending that money to him? I'm torn!