Hi everyone, this is a long one but I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

My parents live in Whoville. They own a condo in Bigville (about a 9-hour drive away), where my sister currently lives. Over Easter weekend, my parents decided to go visit their condo in Bigville and spend the long weekend there. I live about 2.5 hours away from Bigville, so my boyfriend and I decided to drive down and spend the weekend with them. We do not see them often as they live far away.

For context: my parents are well-off and help me financially by covering my groceries. My dad also has season tickets for hockey games, and since it’s easier for us to attend than for them, they sometimes give the tickets to my boyfriend.

Everything was going fine during our Easter visit until my parents mentioned they were planning to attend a hockey game in Montreal the following Friday. I suggested they extend their stay in Bigville and drive to Montreal for the game instead of flying back and forth. They seemed to think it was a good idea.

My mom then floated the idea of coming to stay at my apartment (with my dad and their dog) from Tuesday to Friday. I suggested they might come a bit later in the week — maybe Thursday — as our apartment is small: we only have one bed and one bathroom, no proper setup for my dad to work from home, and we’re not technically allowed dogs in the building. My boyfriend also has a very anxious cat, and last time they stayed with us, I had to sleep on the floor and we had to isolate the cat in one room for two days. In contrast, their condo in Bigville is spacious, pet-friendly, has two beds, two bathrooms, and an office setup.

I honestly thought my suggestion was practical and considerate, but my mom got very upset. We were at a restaurant when I brought it up, and she essentially told me to shut up and ignored me for the rest of the trip. That night, she sent me this message : "I was planning on thanking you for your hospitality by paying for your summer tires for you! Seeing that we are not welcomed for a big 3 days and will end up spending 1000$ on plane tickets [to fly down for the match on Friday]... you will get nothing!!!! Conversation OVER! I don't want to hear a word from you" I didn’t push it further and said nothing about it.

When they left on Sunday, my mom didn’t say goodbye to my boyfriend and gave me a cold hug. Then came a string of angry texts. My brother called me pathetic for “refusing to host them after everything they’ve given us.” My mom said I’m no longer allowed to use their credit card for groceries. My dad sent a pretty cold message too, and despite trying to call him several times, he never picked up : "I'm disappointed by your refusal to host us for a few nights. Honestly! After all we do for you. It would be the least we could do. We didn't ask for a tour of the city after all. The dog and the cat are just excuses. We don't owe anyone an apology here. We are very insulted by this childishness. We always welcomed (my boyfriend) with open arms. We'll remember this one. We don't deserve to be disappointed in this way. We're going to be less generous with you two from now on."

I ended up posting a message in our family Snapchat group to clarify my side of things. Here's what I wrote: "While I was visiting the condo in Bigville, Mom mentioned possibly coming down to my town on Tuesday and staying until the hockey game on Friday. I simply suggested it might be more comfortable for everyone if the visit started a bit later in the week — maybe Thursday instead. This was not meant to be dismissive or unwelcoming, but practical: our apartment only has one bed and one bathroom, Papa wouldn’t have a proper setup to WFH, and there are pet-related restrictions here that complicate things further. I thought suggesting a shorter visit would be more considerate for everyone involved. To my surprise, this turned into a much bigger issue than I ever intended. After sharing my suggestion, I was silenced and ignored for the remainder of my stay in Bigville and was accused of being disrespectful and ungrateful — which was incredibly hurtful. It’s important to say that my boyfriend and I have always welcomed my parents with open arms. At no point was anyone in urgent need of accommodations, and the suggestion was never meant to deny anyone a visit but to propose what I felt was a more comfortable and manageable plan. Additionally, my boyfriend — who drove five hours to be there with us — wasn’t even acknowledged when he left. That felt unnecessarily hurtful and disrespectful. Lastly, I want to address something I’ve since heard: we have never imposed a “two-day visit limit” or anything of the sort. If this is being said or interpreted that way, then it seems like people are looking for reasons to be offended instead of actually trying to understand the situation."

My sister replied with : "OP - nobody is going to side with you. You would have been doing a favor to the parents and they would have been super happy to do everything they had in mind [shopping and visiting an old friend from my city]. Like OP, how do you seriously re-read your message and not think you're delusional? Like actually? You say you never put a two-day limit on them visiting, then what exactly ARE you doing? You are dismissive and you are unwelcoming, how can you possibly think otherwise?? You simply didn't want the parents to disturb your routine for THREE days, like come on, suck it up?"

AITAH?