I (23f) sometimes butt heads with my bfs (25m) brother (22m) because he’s always being condescending towards me or make backhanded remarks whenever I see him. I don’t think he’s ever really approved of me dating is brother and thinks he can do better. I tried giving it time thinking that he would come around after getting to know me more as a person, that never happened. It’s actually been worse because he’s started making assumptions about me and asking certain questions in the guise of getting to know me or to have my bf questioning me.

My last straw was when we went over to celebrate their mom’s birthday and he said that I was holding my fork wrong. I stopped eating and said “ohh why don’t you show me how to do it then?!” And he looked at a couple other people and smirked like I was being irrational. I later heard that he was telling them I had anger issues and said “we don’t even know where she came from or what she does”. They do, he just thinks I lie about everything. It set me off and I went to go confront him about it privately. I asked him why he felt the need to say that and to stop talking about me. I’m not as concerned with him as he is with me and that’s the point I was trying to make. He said “that might work on my brother but I’m not taking it from you”. I was confused… then he said “oh you’re not used to that”. It ticked me off, so I said “you’re feeling those drinks huh?” I guess it looked like things were getting tense so my bf came over with their cousin… he told my bf “she just wants attention see” and tried to snatch me up like it was all just roughhousing when that was never the case. I pushed him away and told him to fuck off because he knew what he was doing. I left earlier than I intended. When I left he laughed it off and was obviously drunk.

Now that it’s days later I guess he wants to make it a problem and lie about how things went down. I laid everything out to my bf, he said he knows his brother isn’t being sincere, but I still shouldn’t have let him push my buttons and ignore it like everyone else. AITAH?