This happened a few hours ago, and I’m feeling really shitty and conflicted. I (16M) have this friend, Jack (also 16M), and we’re kind of “similar” in some ways, especially when it comes to our family situations. We both come from blended families, but that’s about where the similarities end.

For example, my mom are gay, and I really like my stepfamily. Jack’s parents are straight, and he absolutely hates his stepfamily. And honestly, I don’t think his reasons are invalid at all his dad is emotionally unstable and cheated on his mom. His stepmom is literally the mistress, and she treats Jack like crap. His step siblings aren’t terrible, but they usually side with their mom, which doesn’t sucks.

So I get why he’s angry and resentful, but it feels like he projects all that hate onto stepfamilies in general. He’ll complain and rant about his own situation, but when I mention my (step)mom, he gives me this look and starts saying stuff like, “You don’t need to be nice to her,” or “You’re glazing her/ she’s fake,” or “You should want your dad back in your life.” He’s even said stuff about my (step) aunt/sister(16).

Most of the time, I just brush it off. I try to keep things light, and if he starts trash-talking my family, I tell him to stop, and it usually ends there. But today, things escalated and I think I might’ve crossed a line.

So, for the second period today, my (step)mom texted me and asked if I could fake a message saying I broke my arm so she could leave work early. It was kinda funny, honestly, and I thought it would be fun to mess around with my friends during class. We started coming up with goofy ideas for the fake message, just having a good laugh.

Then Jack asked who I was texting. I just said “my mom,” thinking he’d leave it alone. But he kept pressing, and eventually, I mentioned it was my stepmom. That changed everything. His whole vibe shifted, and he started ranting again about how step-parents are evil and fake and all that. I snapped.

I told him to shut up. I said just because his stepfamily sucks doesn’t mean mine does, and that he ruins the vibe every time he starts trashing my family for no reason. After that, the table went dead silent. Jack looked pissed and walked off to go work on a chemistry bench.

Eventually, the rest of the table started talking again. We finished the fake message for my mom, and things kind of went back to normal except there was still this awkward tension. My (step)mom ended up picking me and my (step) sister up early from school, which I was honestly relieved about because I didn’t want to deal with Jack during lunch or physics.

Now, though, I just feel awful. Some of my closer friends are saying I’m not really in the wrong, and they’re glad someone finally told Jack what everyone was thinking. But people who are closer to Jack are saying I was messed up for saying what I did. And now I’m just sitting here feeling guilty, angry, and kind of stupid.

So am I the asshole? any advice about how i should deal with jack is greatly appreciated.