So I (33F) live with my mom (65F). For context me and my mom had always had a great relationship, at least that was until I turned 18. Growing up I always wanted to make my parents proud, and it hasn't been easy. Every time I wanted to do something my mom would hate the idea and I always thought it was based on concern.

Looking back, I highly doubt that's what it was. My dad was always my number 1 supporter, when I chose to do cheer he told me to go for it, same thing with golfing, track, clubs etc. however, not my mother and to this day I can't figure out why. When I was 18 my dad had gotten incredibly sick, so much so both me and mom where high primary care takers. I didn't attend college because she didn't want to help with the paperwork. So I got stuck watching my dad die.

It wasn't great, I had to watch my dad go from being the best person I new to someone I didn't recognize. And by 26 he died and now it's hard imagining any milestone I'll get in life without him looking at me with a proud smile. Even as I'm typing this, I'm crying. I was literally stripped from living out my 20s like a jack ass because she made me believe that my priority should be my family, not anything else. Over the years I noticed how my moms behavior towards me changed and I can't say it's for the better.

I started to noticed how she went from being loving and caring to spiteful and bitter. I feel horrible for even saying that but I can't help but feel as though it's the truth. Yesterday afternoon my mom decided to start shit, which at this point. Isn't anything new to me, she told me that the way I speak to her shows that I have absolute no respect for her. I looked her dead in the eyes and said "well respect is earned" that's when she replied "your right, and I have zero respect for you as a person.

It broke my heart because I do everything for my mom. I take care of her financially, mentally and physically (hard labor). She can't take care of herself, someone has to and unfortunately that has fallen onto me. Now I'm sitting here feeling conflicted, thinking I'm an asshole for what I said to her but on the other hand it felt like it need to be said. So Reddit AITAH?