I (25M) lost my father when I was 17. My mom remarried when I was 20. My stepdad is not a bad guy or anything, we just aren’t that close.

My girlfriend is 5 months pregnant. I went to visit my mom on Monday, and while we were talking, my stepdad started saying how he couldn’t wait to be a grandfather and stuff. I cut in and told him he’s not my dad, so he wouldn’t be the grandfather. I said it calm, not trying to start anything, just being honest. I told him I’m not comfortable with him calling himself that.

He said he didn’t mean anything by it, and I told him I get that and it's s fine but that title is reserved for my dad. I also told him I’m not gonna stop him from having a relationship with my kid. I’m not trying to block anything. I just don’t want him referring to himself as something he’s not.

My mom thinks I was too blunt and should’ve been nicer. She said it could’ve been a way for us to bond and that I shouldn’t keep him at a distance. She thinks I should apologize because he doesn't have any living kids of his own anymore so he wouldn't have the chance to become a grandfather through them.

But to me, grandfather is a specific title. It means something. It’s for my dad and my girlfriend’s dad. It feels like letting my stepdad call himself that is erasing who my dad was to me and I don't want my kid to get confused In the future.