📝 AITAH for telling the truth to my friend?

By gydgbth • Score: 0 • April 14, 2025 3:10 PM


I, F25, had a friend, F25. This friend has had an ex-boyfriend since she was 18, and it's a toxic relationship in which they constantly block and unblock each other. He treats her poorly when he feels like it, and she tolerates his behavior because he is financially stable. I always advise her that she needs to get out of it for her mental peace. In January, we were going out and she asked me to arrive earlier to take some pictures of her, to which I agreed. I was in my car, and she was in hers. She met up with her coworkers, whom I didn’t know until that day. During this, she brought up the topic of her ex, with whom she was currently fighting and had recently blocked. Everyone was giving their opinions and I told her, "You have to let this guy go, he’s not good for you, he’s holding you back, and he doesn’t add anything positive to your life”. She then said in front of everyone, "I don’t understand why you’re talking about [her ex’s name]” in an annoyed tone, and I proceeded to tell her that she was the one who brought up the topic. After this, she disappeared and didn’t spoke to me for the rest of the night. (Thank God I wasn’t alone.) When I got to my car, which was parked where hers was, she had already left without saying anything to me, which made me very uncomfortable because if I had been alone, the situation could have been very different. Next day, she texted me early to ask for the pictures. We were a group of three friends, but the third person didn’t attend the event, so she was unaware of what had happened. She was texting in our iMessage group, and the other person wasn’t responding, so I called her and told her what happened the night before. During this call, I found out that this friend had removed me from her Instagram close friends and had tweeted, "I love taking away people’s privileges of having access to my personal life when they disrespect me." I immediately understood that this was indirectly aimed at me, so I decided to write her a message saying that I was sorry if I had said something that made her feel upset or uncomfortable because she had been distant in our group chat, and if she felt that way, she could address it directly with me. Her response was that she was looking for an explanation for my behavior, that her coworkers had asked her if I hated her, and that I wouldn’t have any more details of her life so I wouldn’t have to endure listening to her complain about men. I responded that I didn’t understand how it crossed her mind that I hated her, and that her coworkers, the same ones who implied that I hated her, also had an opinion on the matter. I also told her that I didn’t appreciate the fact that she took our situation to social media when she could have just talked to me directly. After all, she had even texted me in the morning to ask for the pictures. I also added that listening to her about her issues wasn't a problem, but if that was her decision, I would respect it. She told me that it was incredible that I couldn’t recognize that I had made her feel bad and that she was thinking of ignoring the issue and moving on with her life, which is why she hadn’t said anything when she asked me for the pictures. I took the opportunity to tell her that it was incredible that she said I wasn’t recognizing that I made her feel bad when I was the one who reached out to solve things, and that obviously, I had no way of knowing what I knew and what they knew. Her last message was "okay." Humanly, I had done everything I could. Approximately one week ago, she texted me to apologize and told me that she had been going through the worst process of her life trying to seek forgiveness from her ex-partner. She said she realized that "my mistake was something tiny." She told me that she loved me, appreciated me a lot, and didn’t know if our friendship would ever be the same again, but she wanted me to know how she was feeling. AITA for not being interested in rebuilding this friendship? I want to clarify that I don't justify the things I said, and I specifically apologized because I’m not one to decide what might hurt someone, but I feel like she handled the situation immaturely.

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