My(35M) fiancé’s(40F) ten year old daughter wants to sleep with her mom at the drop of the hat. I have, during our courtship, given up many times the side of the bed reserved for me. Then, months ago, my fiancé told her no, that she could sleep downstairs on the couch. I feel she abuses that privilege by making “crafting messes” all over the game room, so I don’t feel, as a stay at home, even that is fair to me.

I have a broken back. I have stenosis of the L4-L5 disc, and struggle to sleep in ways that don’t aggravate my condition. It has been rough.

My fiancé’s ex didn’t allow the children in the bed and wouldn’t give up shit to make anyone but himself happy. I told my future wife that I don’t mind giving up the bed conditionally, thunderstorms, power outages ect. even with my condition, but that gets pushback to where she (10F) thinks she has regency at every whim.

My fiancé told me tonight she has agency to tell her no but if (10f) gets an inch she thinks she’s a ruler. Am I the asshole for wanting the only bed I have to sleep in to be a safe place for me, health of body and mind?