For the past several months my husband has been staying up at night, but only after I've gone to bed, and claiming to have issues with sleeping. When I stay up, however, he goes to bed and does so with ease. This is not new and he's done it on and off over the years. A while back he was staying up on his laptop after I'd gone to bed. When I woke up for whatever reason, even to use the bathroom, he immediately closed it and went to bed. When asked about this he told me he was already tired, already planning to go to sleep, and that I'd be upset he was up when he never cared about what I thought before.

He did other things, at the same time, which further made me think he was cheating. He became guarded with his phone, and seemed uneasy with me using it. He walked in right as I grabbed it one morning, told me it needed to keep charging and to put it back, before taking it from me. He then tilted it to the side, appeared to delete something, before saying it had enough charge and handing it back to me. When I asked if he deleted something he initially told me that he did, that he deleted an article on divorce, but later denied this. A few days after this he was hesitant to give me his phone. He ssked, for the first time ever, to stand next to him as I used it. When I walked off with it he immediately yelled at me, cussing me out, and demanding I gave it back.

He questioned me one night that I had stayed up, asking me what I was doing on my phone, and not believing me when I said watching YouTube videos. He said eight hours was a long time to be doing just that, when it was very thing he said he was doing. He took my phone and looked through it. This wasn't the first time he questioned me. He was the first to question, and accuse me, and over considerably less than the reasons I suspect him. It's also not the first time he snooped on my phone. Or the first time he questioned me for doing the same thing he was. The strange thing, however, was that he only ever questioned me whenever he was behaving suspiciously. He would go long periods of time without doing so.

Recently, he's started doing something else. He's waking up after he goes to bed, but only after I've gone to bed, as well. He was waking up at 7am nights in a row, and only on a few hours sleep, claiming he couldn't fall back to sleep. He stayed up for a few hours on his phone each time before going back to sleep. It was obvious he had been awake, there were indications of this such as candy wrappers or other things, and I would ask about it. A few of the times he said he wasn't up, but after I pointed out something that showed he clearly was, he back-pedaled and said that he was. Him trying to cover it up made me more suspicious.

I began to question it he was waking up after me to get alone time to do something shady. When I asked about this, he denied it, and made it out to be absurd. He acted like it wasn't possible saying that he doesn't have an internal alarm clock, that he can't just wake himself up after I've gone to bed. How would he know that I'm asleep and so on. It isn't the first time he's tried to make me feel stupid for thinking what I do, for the reasons I think he's cheated, when they are very valid and logical reasons for thinking it. If they weren't then why would he question, and accuse me, when I did the same things even just one time?

I now believe that he's going to meet up with someone, perhaps the person he's speaking to, under the guise of doing other things. The other day he told me he was going to get water from the well with his mother, something he's only ever supposedly done once before in the five years we've been together. He asked me if I wanted to go but I have anxiety, and I also don't particularly like his mother, and so I think he knew I wouldn't. He came back with a bottle of tea I had in the car. He said, when asked about that, that he was cleaning the car. I asked why he needed to do that, and why he didn't just take his mother's car. His car has been having some pretty serious issues. He said he liked driving when he could still do that in her car.

He sensed that I was, at that point, becoming suspicious. He asked me to come again and said he didn't want to be accused, or questioned, when he came back. He left and I could've sworn I heard his mother at one point, and that she was still here. He messaged me after about an hour. He asked me if I wanted anything from the shop. He said his mother was going in and would get it. I asked which shop and he told me one that's not near the well at all. When he came back, he had a lot of items, more than what I requested which was just a coffee. Not that this was a bad thing but I knew his mother wouldn't have gone in for all of it. And so I said that he must've went in for the stuff, to which he said yes, and that he mother got impatient and went in before him. I then noticed that a few of the items were from another shop, which he said he went to beforehand.

He told me that the car had the worst issue yet and was struggling to accelerate. He said that he would need the mechanic to take it the next day, and that he was going to call and beg him to. It was that desperate. The next morning, after we'd both been up all night, I asked about how he was going to go to his class the next day. I was under the assumption, based off what he said, that the car wasn't drivable. He told me he was going to drive his car. I asked how and he said that after it started struggling to accelerate he pulled over, turned it on and off, and that after he did this the lights went off and it was fine again. I asked why he didn't tell me that. He acted like it wasn't necessary to, that what he said still stands, and that the car needed seen regardless.

I wondered why he left this detail out. When questioned he became defensive and insulted me, acting like I was stupid for being bothered by it, or for thinking it meant anything. Fast forward to today and he gets up to shower. I asked if he was going anywhere and he said no. Not 30mins later was he getting dressed in a hurry. I asked where he was going and he said the mechanic. I said wouldn't he need to call him first. It was over a week ago that he was told to bring it in. He acted like he was fine to just do that, but also said he would call when outside, when he was cleaning the car. Something which he was going to do without knowing whether the mechanic could look at it or not.

I said wouldn't his mother need to go with him in case he keeps the car. That he doesn't know if she's home or at work. He said he didn't think he would, that he would just do a test on it. I asked if I could go with him. He thought I meant out to the car and tried to put me off by saying his dad was around. I clarified asking if I could go to the mechanic. He said that his mother likely would have to come with him in her car in case its kept, just as I had already said. He said he would need to call him and wait on her to arrive home. He just kept contradicting himself. He left to clean the car, asking me to first it he could move my belongings to the trunk. He came back and told me the mechanic said to bring it in tomorrow. And that he asked him to "fix everything" and make it ready to go and drive long distances.

He said that because he's offered to take me places that are far away. I still found it strange, however, because why would you need to tell a mechanic to fix everything. That is their job. He even said he was going to have the small imperfections in the car fixed. He was giving a lot of details and a lot of details can be indicative of lying. He brought my belongings inside, when he initially was going to put them in the trunk, something which I would think was the better option if he was getting the car looked at or worked on. Would they not possibly be in the way in the trunk? He left to resume cleaning the car. I can hear him hoovering and putting air in the tyres.

When I asked him why he would tell the mechanic to "fix everything" considering the mechanic does that already, fixing what's broken, he said they ask what you want fixed/looked at. When I asked why he brought my stuff up, after saying he'd leave it in the trunk, he said he didn't know and thought I might want it. But then also said that it could be in the way if the mechanic needs to check wiring or something. I don't know what to believe at this point. I spot so many contradictions, and inconsistentances in what he tells me, and in what he does. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or any of this is genuinely suspicious, and others would think the same. That's what I would like to know.