TL;DR: Co-parenting with my emotionally manipulative ex feels like walking through a minefield. He restricts my access to our kids with weirdass rules, flips out no matter how I respond, and has made disturbing comments about birth control and custody. Just trying to figure out if I’m overreacting, or if he’s actually lost it.

I (mid 20s) am in the middle of a divorce from my ex (early 30s), and co-parenting has been… wild. We have 2 kids (preschool) who mostly live with him right now because he doesn’t work and I do (I work in a bar and plan my shifts around when I have the kids).

There’s no strict custody schedule, we go by availability but he recently started saying I can’t have the kids for “more than 4 days at a time.” When I asked to have them for an extra day because I was available (which would be day 5), he said no, because 4 days is the “average.” Then when I backed off and said okay, he said:

“Eh was hoping you’d fight me on it so you’d PMO.😄” He literally wanted me to argue with him for the sake of making him mad??

When I argue, I'm an issue When I don’t argue, I'm still an issue 🤯

Other gems he’s hit me with: - Asked why I don’t bring our daughter to work with me (again, I work nights in a bar) - Said “your job is your problem” when I said she needs to sleep - Got angry when he found out I’m on birth control, not because he wants to get back together, but because it means I can’t get pregnant outside - Then told me he was “hoping I’d get knocked up” so he could use it to try and take the kids away - Thinks that if someone remarries, they no longer have “use” for their old family - Believes friends who lie for you = bad, physical affection is “dirty,” and emotions are “manipulation”

It feels like I’m in a psychological obstacle course and I’m just trying to co-parent in peace. I live with my mom, who helps where she can, but I do most of the hands-on parenting when the kids are with me. It’s like I have to phrase every sentence carefully to avoid triggering an outburst.

So… AITA for thinking this man is absolutely unhinged? Or am I just too close to it to see clearly?