Look, I feed these pigeons every day. I’ve built relationships. One of them, Gary, practically lives on my shoulder. It started as a joke, but I made little signs like “PECK THE SYSTEM” and “WE DESERVE SEEDS, NOT SCRAPS.” Now I have like 40 pigeons following me around. City officials are calling me a public nuisance. AITAH or am I just the bird whisperer the world needs?