So I’m wondering if I’m the asshole here. I had this really close friend, C. We talked every day for months. We told each other we loved one another. We planned things. We told each other we’d always be in each other’s lives. And then, out of nowhere, he started pulling away. He disappeared with no explanation. I was worried sick. I kept checking in, asking if he was okay, and he would give me vague responses or nothing at all. I was spiraling. My dad had just died. It was my first time losing someone this close to me, and it broke me. And C knew that. He promised he’d be there for me when it happened. He told me he’d never leave. But he wasn’t there. He left. I tried to be understanding. I know things were going on in the UK, and he was dealing with a lot, so I kept shrinking myself. I told him he didn’t have to say much, but I just needed a little sign that he was okay. Just an emoji. Anything. He couldn’t even do that. I was checking the news every day, seeing scary things online, not knowing what to believe, and he was my only direct source. I convinced myself he had died. That was the only thing that made sense to my grief-stricken brain because no way would he just abandon me after everything he promised. I sent him messages. Not 15 to 20 like he says. Maybe I just don't know. It only became more frequent when he started vanishing. At first, it was just normal conversation. But as he disappeared, I tried to keep him updated on my life to stay connected. I’d send him filters, life updates, little things. He always told me he loved it. He said it made him feel better. So I kept doing it. I was grieving. I found out I had a brother I didn’t know about. My daughter. I got a new dog. And through it all, I just kept trying to keep C in my life. Then I saw him online on Snapchat. I saw him changing his TikTok picture and posting videos. I wasn’t looking for it. It just showed up when I was tagging people or scrolling. That confused me even more. Why could he be online and doing all this, but not send me one message? I couldn’t take it anymore. I unfriended him on Snapchat last Sunday. It wasn’t to be mean. I didn’t block him. I didn’t cut off everything. I just needed some relief. Muting him didn’t help. I kept checking. Unfriending gave me a bit of space. Apparently, he messaged me after I unfriended him, or maybe just before, but I didn’t see it. It wasn’t on purpose. I didn’t ghost him. But now he’s mad and saying I ran away just because I unfriended him. Meanwhile, he says that since he never unfriended me, that means he didn’t run, so it’s all on me. But how is that fair? He thinks because his name still sat on my friends list that he was still showing up for me. But I was alone. I was grieving. I was trying so hard to hold on to something that kept slipping through my fingers. Now he’s throwing things in my face. Saying I’m strange. Saying I message too much. But I always asked if it was okay, and he always said it was. He encouraged me. He said he wanted to know how I was feeling, and now suddenly it’s a problem. I told him that long-distance takes work. I told him I felt disconnected. I wasn’t double-texting for attention. I was just trying to hold onto him. I’d start writing something, get distracted by my daughter, then come back and finish it. That’s why some things were broken up. And now, because I missed one message, after waiting and holding on for months while he was pulling back on purpose, he’s saying goodbye for good. I don’t even know what to think anymore. I loved him. I still do. I feel like he’s not even trying to understand me. So… am I the asshole?