so i (21f) and my bf (22m) have been together for about 9 months. i am currently getting my bachelors and have plans to go to grad school and get my doctorate since it's needed for the career i want (psych) and i work part time in the meantime. my bf currently works at a fast food place for not great money (like 28 hours a week). he isn't in school, and has generally no big grand plan for his future, which i am okay with since many people my age don't, and it can take time to explore and find yourself and what you want to do. however i asked a few weeks ago if he would ever consider getting a second job so he could work part time since his job won't give him the extra hours he wants to become full time, and he said he felt like i was saying that he wasn't good enough or that he wasn't doing enough. i did my best to be as kind and polite as i could, i wasn't trying to sound pressuring, i was basically just asking him what his plans were for the future and making suggestions about working some more hours somewhere else. he is depressed and said he is just trying to get through each day, which is something i can understand but i can't relate well since i have never been depressed and don't know the feeling. then later he completely broke down about it begging me to reassure him that he wasn't a failure and was telling me how our conversation made him feel like shit because he's too depressed to work full time and can't do it. we both still live with our parents but his situation is bad and he really wants to get out of it. anytime anything bad happens it makes him depressed and pessimistic and i feel like i have to help him be an adult like asking him to work full time, booking doctors appointments, caring about himself in general etc. and reminding him that one bad thing doesn't mean the world is crashing down, such as me suggesting he works part time. instead of having a back and forth like adults he just immediately had a breakdown. is this just something that comes with having a depressed partner and im being an asshole or are we just not very compatible?