So for context, I (27m) have been in a friend group since year 5 (age 10-11) with a few joining in year 7. There is 8 of us (all males) who went to school together and know each other almost like brothers. In the years after high school, I left my hometown for 4 years for university, but still kept in contact with this friend group. Upon returning in 2020, most attempts to catch up were short due to Covid.

Slowly as restrictions eased, we were able to catch up as a group more often. I was introduced to ‘Q’ at a bar by a few friends from the group at some point in 2021.

In about may 2023, myself , Q and two school friends were invited to a bush doof ran by a friend from the surf. Me and Q got a lift with one friend ‘N’ and our other friend ‘B’ met us there. We set up camp and had some pre drinks as the sun went down and the music started. As we got onto the dance floor we bumped into an old friend selling mdma caps, myself and Q only getting one each, N and B getting 2 each.

About 2 hours into the actual party and I am feeling pretty good but could have more. I managed to find a cap of MD in the same type of bag my friend had been selling them in, and I double checked with him and examined the cap and it looked fine. I took it with some beer and felt overwhelmed at first but my nerves settled as it kicked in. It had been a few years since I had done MDMA but I have had a fair amount of experience with it, as well as psychedelics/weed.

I would not say I know Q well, but myself and a few other friends from school group, have had a massive suspicion he is gay. I am not homophobic in any way but he has the generic gay voice and is just very feminine in his mannerisms. He even said to myself and N on the drive to the bush doof that he and his gf don’t have sex ever.

Back to the party, I have had two MDMA caps, alcohol and some weed earlier on, and I am feeling pretty good. The party is going on and everyone is enjoying it as a bush doof should be. I am offered some Ketamine by B, something I’m not usually too fond of, but with everything else I had taken I didn’t think twice.

After about 5 minutes it has properly kicked in and I am feeling slightly wobbly. I manage to walk over to N who is just heading back to camp to get beers, and let him know I may need a sit down somewhere as it was raining and there wasn’t many seats under the shelter. He checks on me and then asks Q to just walk with me to a nearby wall to lean on and find my feet. At this point I am pretty wobbly, and only able to mumble, but still completely aware. As I am leaning on Qs shoulder and the wall for support, he says are you all good, and grabs and squeezed my p*nis through my pants, only quickly. Q is about 165cm, 60kg and is not very active, whereas I am 183cm 82kg and work out regularly. As far as I know, we have also grown up very differently and if I wasn’t in that state I would have knocked his teeth out of his head right where he stood.

Before I know it I had a split second blackout, followed by snapping out of the mumbling and finally throwing up all the alcohol. In all this confusion I put it to the back of my mind. N, B and Q assist me back to our camp area. After throwing up for a good 45 minutes, and the party over already, I go clean up and jump into bed without saying much, as most people are already in their camp. I wake up the next morning with a terrible hangover and having to recollect what happened that night. On the drive home with Q and N I still had not thought much about what happened, as I was mostly making sure to not throw up in the car. Once I got home I slept off the rest of the hangover, and woke up later that evening. This is when a lot of things came back to be, namely the incident with Q.

I have not seen a lot of Q since then, as he has quite a wealthy family and is always on month long trips. The few times I have seen him since then have been at pubs, licensed venues, and often when he and others from the friend group will invite their girlfriends. I am too polite/also embarrassed to blatantly bring it up in front of everyone in this setting.

I had been SA’d twice by men prior to this. Once when I was 7, on a family holiday in Thailand, an old man selling bamboo fans grabbed my p*nis hard while showing me the fans. The other time by some random British man when I had just turned 18, I bent over to take a shot in pool and he walked past and stuck his finger up my bum. I wanted to hit him with the pool cue but my friend told me to leave it.

I don’t want Q to get away with this, but I have no idea what to do.

If I bring it up with Q directly, there is the obvious possibility that he can just deny it and I have no witness. As well as this, I still feel angry about it and i don’t want to give him reason to get an AVO, or for myself to get a violence charge. He also has quite wealthy parents, has a high up job and is generally seen as “better off” than I can say for myself. I have prior convictions as a teenager for graffiti or “street art” so would be seen as less believable

Although I confide in this friend group, with some more than others. I would prefer to keep this to myself, at least until I know what my options are.

I don’t want to have to bash this bloke but if I bump into him on a bad day I don’t know what to expect

I am currently on work cover for a back injury, and have spent the last 20 months listening to terrible doctors and “professionals” to no result. Two weeks ago I met with a sports physician who told me exactly what is wrong with my back. I took it as a sign to get on top of this bullshit with Q which has been on my mind longer than the back injury.

I’ve never told anyone this, any advice would be appreciated ❤️