I'm 22(M), almost 23. My mom is 50, she had me at 27-28. She had jobs but they were just jobs-but no huge problem, until before she was pregnant she was dependent on my grandmother, then her bf/fwb, then her bf/fwb and my Dad. Afterwards she was still depending on people, and didn't work at all until I was in 5th grade, I was about 10 or 11. My parents were already split by then but my Dad still helped out, I should say she has basically refused to drive all her life -still does. Her job was walkable until she switched locations, the she had to rely on Ubers despite the trains & buses also being all throughout our area.

Either way she was making things work as I was in school. When I got my first job, same place and store she worked at. We started paying things together, then I was paying the phone(same plan), Internet+cable and partially rent($750 then went to $850) while she was just partially paying rent and lights. I switched departments, started getting paid less before more, from $10 to $7.25 in the meat department but I was still paying my portion. Eventually I became a certified meat Cutter and was making $16.65 then another raise to $17.75. I noticed more and more though she was irresponsible with her money. She'd pay at least $70 for nails just to break them a week or week and a half in, then spend more money on them, always taking Uber despite a train station being right behind her job, refusing to even get a bike to make things cheaper. She heavily values materialistic things, she'd have things in the pawn she'd use Ubers to go pay on them, which I understand it's your stuff, but I'll touch base on this later.

She'd run out of her checks after like 3-4 days mostly paying nothing really important outside rent while I'm paying the phone, Internet, and lights, partially paying rent, food. Any time I'd try to constructively criticize or just try to help her spending she'd get an attitude saying she's not a child or something like that(which whenever something doesn't go her way or she doesn't get want she wants she pouts and stomps around. She overexaggerates things, and gets easily sensitive, you can't try and reason with her or give her advice without her thinking you're attacking her.)

I'm not the best saver either, but I always choose bills first. At some time I got a new job, Sam's so it's pay every 2 weeks. And it felt like our situation was just worse, we made a deal that I pay everything else and she pays the rent. At some point she forgot to pay the rent, so we're even more behind and eventually we get the eviction notice. While we're struggling to find a new place I had already got a new job because Sam's had no overnight positions for me while I pursued a school program during the day. We find a place but her credit isn't good so we have to pay about $1100 moving in, which i got a loan to help us get in. Finally we move in and she starts working towards getting a new job because everyone in her dept even the store manager would always have it out for her or pick on her, despite her lead being her friend, they'd have beef and make up like clockwork. At first she didn't want to go to a different department, she didn't want to go to another store because she didn't like the areas, and she didn't want to leave because she's been with the company for 11 years and doesn't like "giving up". Anyway she found the new job, eventually she got her last check and first check from her new job, $800 in one day. None of that went to the loan I took out, rent for next month, phones, lights, Internet, or groceries.

Around the same time, she tried using Klarna pay in 4 to get a handbag, but it took $390 up front, instead of just going back she kept it and decided to pay the rest off later, again, not helping with anything. Both times I had to practically give my full paycheck for rent, and she gave one but again she relies on Uber, now getting paid a bit less. Anytime id asked if she could pay the rest of a bill, like $30-60, she'd get upset because she needed to pay Klarna to keep her bags. I end up not being able to pay that loan. She gets fired from her job, says she didn't mess up whatever it was they're accusing her of. I take out another loan to make the rent. Everything is on me, as I said she doesn't drive, I wasn't taught, my dad has one side of his body working and moved to Oklahoma with my stepmom when I was 20. So it's walking to get groceries. After I graduate from my program I'm working at Chase Bank as a intern, but the program pays us $1050 every 2 weeks. Even though she's at home all day, dishes are rarely done, trash is barely taken out and she always asks me to go around the corner to get her something. I had to take out other loans, unable to pay them off as well, same with credit cards.

Around some time, she decided to get the new iPhone 15, $800 added on the bill which forced me to pay $180-200 to pay my phone off. She gets a new job but wants to switch depts because she doesn't like her shift despite saying telling them she'd work any. New dept and she left because the manager was rude, yelling at her because the store director told my mom to leave at a certain time. There's no positions anywhere else available so it's back on me after like 2-4 weeks. We start putting stuff in the pawn shop, which I would just let my stuff go because I can always get it back later, she's not that way at all. I had got me another Xbox(cheap) just to put it back in. Our neighbor tried to attack her and we got put out, I found a new apt, but needed $100 more for the deposit.

She's tried to guilt trip me into paying her things in the pawn shop saying she helped us get the apt even though it was mostly me, and I get it, she has no job. Rent, lights, food, phone, Internet, and her stuff. Not easy, not to mention she eats a lot. So me wasting extra money on her stuff just takes away from food, and all the time she mentions she can't wait till we're out of this but you're not willing to part ways with things you can get again, especially when you bought them at times where we didn't have a lot of money. There was a time where she had $50 from putting something else in the pawn, $30 of that she spent in the dollar store but the only food she bought were 2 bags of chips.

Currently, I don't have a job, fired for balance issues. So last check, had to take out my 401k for extra cash. Rent, phone, Internet, food. Yes I can explain my situation, which I did to our new management company, and I can try and find a job along with her and we can be in even more of a survival mode, or I can move in with my Dad and stepmom

My mom still has 3 Brothers, 2 Aunts. My uncles are in Balch Springs, Cedar Hill, Austin. One of my aunts is in DeSoto, the other I'm not sure but us probably out of state. It's crazy as she said she'd rather stay in a homeless shelter than her aunts house. 2 of my uncles and my aunt are religious but not nuts, which my mom says she is too but I really think she doesn't want to take actual good advice and more responsibility that she should already have with them. Whether or not she's actually serious, she's said things like "killing myself would be better than this" or "maybe I should just kill myself". She really isn't that type, but like I said she overexaggerates and no child wants to hear there parent say that.

I honestly don't think I should continue with this, it's not my fault she didn't take the necessary steps to ensure herself a future after having a child, even as I became an adult. Part of me feels like I'm the man of my house, it is what it is, but I literally don't see an end to this. My future is very important to me, I want a family at some point and the extent of how much I want I feel it's very important for me to do as much as I can right now. She has others she can count on, which she's 50, she should've taken better care of herself instead of jumping from person to person to financially depend on.

I personally don't think I am, but I'm wondering AITAH?