So I’ve been in a really tough spot at work recently, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if I’ve just been pushed too far.

I recently got promoted to a position at my job—specifically, overseeing the office’s operations and client management. One of my coworkers—who used to be a close friend outside of work—has been ignoring me for over a week. We were once pretty tight, but now she’s just stonewalling me, and it’s making everything so awkward.

During this time, I had a family loss (my passed away), and I took some time off for the funeral. When I returned to the office—it was literally my first day back—this coworker didn’t acknowledge my loss at all. Instead, I overheard her talking about something work-related I should be handling, and when I passed by, she made some remark to another coworker, “Tell [me] to get it done,” she’s been communicating with me through other coworkers for the last two weeks.

I finally reached my limit and, instead of just accepting it, I told her that if she wanted it done, she could handle it herself because I was busy.

She then sends me this long text, telling me that I have a “bad attitude,” and that I’m the cause of the tension between her and another mutual friend (who had misunderstood something I said—something that I wasn’t even involved in). She also threatens to bring it to our boss, claiming that my actions are “damaging to the business.”

At this point, I calmly remind her of a serious mistake she made with a client, which almost caused a bigger problem for the company, but got swept under the rug by those who knew about it. She blocks me on everything.

About an hour later, she walks by my desk and flips me off as she passes. I follow her into the back room, asking her about it, and she says it was just a “joke.” I tell her that it didn’t feel like a joke, and she immediately tells me that I’m the unprofessional one. So I just walked away, but I’m absolutely fuming.

I just feel totally blindsided. She was a friend, and now she’s spreading drama, making me the scapegoat, and being outright disrespectful. I want to stand up for myself, but I don’t know if I should just let it go or escalate things further.

Reddit, what should I do? Should I go to my boss, or should I just stay out of it and keep my head down? How do I handle this without it blowing up? I’m someone who usually always defends myself and i feel so isolated at work right now.