I (22f), and my bf (24m) have been together for almost 4 years now. We’ve lived together for three. We have an amazing bond and a pretty healthy dynamic. He’s loyal, I’m loyal etc and we have plans to be married in the future and have children. And we’re always honest toward one another.

My bf works at a dispo, and recently a new girl we’ll call her Kendra. Kendra has very little knowledge of cannabis and wanted to work there just for fun. She’s a mom of a baby and has a husband as well.

Kendra begins saying things to my bf, asking questions about me, nothing too out of the ordinary. Once she asked him for his phone # to share some pictures they took for their IG page earlier in the day. My bf shuts this down and tells her no. He knows I wouldn’t be okay with her having his number and frankly he didn’t want her to have it. These questions have then progressed into more off putting questions. Kendra mentions to my bf how her ex husband used to cheat on her with this one girl, but she said that she didn’t really mind it because it was “just sex”.

NOW, why would she ask this question without an ulterior motive? My guess, she wanted to figure out his thoughts on cheating and if he is okay with it. He replied it’s not something he’s okay with. Couple days go by, my bf is at work talking to a male coworker about their parlays and what not. Kendra then, waits until my bf is alone and says to my bf, “Hey, next time you go to the casino, you should let me know! You can bring your gf and I’ll bring my husband. And maybe after we can all SPEND THE NIGHT together.”

Now wtf. This is just a few instances I can list off the top of my head but this has all gone down in the span of just a couple months since Kendra began to work there. I can’t 100% remember but I think she’s mentioned being in an “open relationship” with her husband. My bf has brushed off all her comments when she says them and he says he just walks away or doesn’t reply. In my opinion, open relationships are cheating and it’s not something I agree with and my boyfriend feels the exact same. I know this because we’ve communicated our expectations since the beginning of our relationship. I think it’s very clear that Kendra is interested in my boyfriend, specifically in having sex with him. She’s always trying to talk to him even if it’s about nothing important or work related.

I want to end this by saying, I’m not worried that my boyfriend would cheat on me with this girl. I trust him completely, and he’s been honest with me about Kendra’s behavior toward him and had expressed he’s uncomfortable with it. It’s just something that also makes me uncomfortable and I’m debating that if it gets any worse with her comments, should I message her on facebook and wtf would I even say?? And literally not that it matters, but Kendra wouldn’t be my bf’s type even if he was single and interested. She’s tall, black hair, all tattoo’d up, on the heavier side. You guessed it, and I’m blonde, short, no tattoos and skinny and just in general, I’m more conventionally feminine and it’s something I take pride in. I’m a girly girl, and she’s giving stoner homewrecker who just wanted a job at the dispo to look cool, but actually knows nothing about cannabis or the science behind it.

My bf is too non-confrontational so I don’t think he’s likely to just outright say “hey i know you’re a swinger and i’m not interested and you make me uncomfortable.” He’s not gonna say that as much as he wants to.

So would I be the assh*le if I messaged her?? I mean yeah if it gets really ridiculous he’s gonna talk to his boss but I feel like as his gf of four years, I’m entitled to saying SOMETHING on behalf of our partnership.