The basic background here is that my in-laws, myself, my husband, and my child fall in two very distinctly different political ideations. This has been the source of contention many times in the past because my FIL cannot keep quiet about his opinions even in situations where he's been told in advance not to voice them. My mother is the same way and the two sometimes fight because they disagree.

My MIL has two events coming up, one a party where she invites her friends, and one a family-only Easter dinner. We are not religious and I'm actually Arabic and don't celebrate Easter, which she knows. She wants us to come to both of these events and to also bring my mother and grandparent to the Easter dinner even though the grandparent also doesn't celebrate Easter and is on home-hospice and dying of dementia. We've told her a million times taking him places only makes him more confused, and if we don't take him someone will have to stay home. She is very insistent and doesn't take "no" for an answer.

I'm reluctant to go to either of these events because I know politics will come up. I just lost a huge contract because of the tariffs and my child's mental health has taken a huge hit since January - he went from a straight-A gifted student to failing and not wanting to go to college because "there's no point," and that's without him knowing I just lost income for the next three years. I try not to talk about politics in front of him because when someone else does he gets very depressed. I can sit there and listen to a bunch of people I barely know say things I don't agree with, but if I go without my child they will all think something is wrong. I know if I take him, he's going to come out of it worse than he went in - and that's completely ignoring the issues around arranging care for my grandparent while we're out of the house.

I know if we don't go to either event she will be upset and I will hear about it. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm more concerned about the mental health of my child and grandparent.

AITAH if I tell her we're not coming? AITAH if I tell her the real reason why? AITAH if I let my teen decide, even if she doesn't like his choice?