I swear I’m a good friend and girlfriend. When the people I love need to talk, I listen, let them go on for as long as they want, stay non‑judgmental, ask follow‑up questions to prove I’m paying attention, and give whatever emotional support or enthusiasm seems expected. Then, because that’s what “good communication” requires, I sometimes share my own thoughts, feelings, or experiences—even when I would really rather not.

But doing all that drains me. Hours of daily conversation about feelings and opinions leave me exhausted. On the outside I’m polite and supportive; on the inside I’m thinking, I honestly don’t give a fuck—when will this talk end? And yes, I realize that 80 % of normal conversation is exactly this stuff. That’s the problem.

A lot of talk falls into a few buckets:

• Re‑telling events plus feelings: “Here’s something minor that happened and a detailed explanation of how I felt about it.”

• Critiquing media, politics, or philosophical opinions: I mind it a lot less when it’s positive, but most of the time it’s about how some show, person, idea, or media story is [insert negative opinion here]—which is what a lot of critics do though.

• Tiny daily complaints: someone cut them off on the road, yogurt got more expensive, they’re tired and don’t want to do their laundry, etc.

• “I’m stressed” talk: this thing that happened makes me stressed; this thing that might happen is making me stressed.

Positive talk bothers me a lot less, but the constant drip of minor grievances or re‑hashing a topic I never truly cared about makes me annoyed at the person—even though I don’t show it on the outside. It’s not that I hang around abnormally negative or self‑absorbed people—everyone I’ve ever met does this. They’re normal, and I don’t blame them for being the way they are; I’m the odd one out in my annoyance.

Truth is, I probably have fewer strong feelings and opinions than most people. Maybe only about 10 % of what happens in my life—or in the world—feels worth discussing. As for the rest, it’s either too tiring to bother talking about, or I don’t care to hear anyone else’s opinions on it. Yet especially in a romantic relationship you’re expected to dump every dull problem or temporary emotion on your partner to prove you’re “communicating” and “close.” Why is that the standard? Why is constant emotional play‑by‑play healthy while wanting some quiet makes you a cold person?

I love these people. I just wish loving them didn’t require a never‑ending talk show and therapy session.