Just heads up, english is not my native language, so there might be gramatical errors or spelling mistakes. Also, there are topics like s*icide and some NSFW language, so trigger warning.

So, my parents (both 47) got divorced not even a year ago.

For context: It was very messy before they divorced. My mum found out then that dad was spending time with another woman, buying her gifts, and helping her with her children (also later pushed her baby in a stroller around town, as she was pregnant when they started hanging out). My mum after finding out became...kind of unstable. She instantly went around house snooping. When she always found something or heard something, she always told me/or my siblings, and talked about how he is an a**hole, and other slurs. When she finally confonted him, she became very mentally unstable, and the next day ended up in hospital as she tried to.. 💀 herself by swallowing some medication. It sure was something when me (then 18) and my brother had to visit her in the hospital. It was a weird feeling, and most of all, I didn't even know why she even was there, my dad just told us she wasn't feeling well. Not even two days later, and my mum had an emotional outburst, which resulted in her being placed in a mental hospital. I still didn't know what was fully happening, until she was allowed to visit us home in a ceirtain time window. She told me what she tried to do, and I felt sad, mainly because she said it in a way like: 'I though you (me and my siblings) no longer needed me, and that noone would miss me, thats why I did it' . I felt guilty. Later they let her out. It was alright for a bit, but then we got a call one night from her, that she loves us, hopes for us to grow up right etc. ...words someone says before they do something stupid. I just hoped my brother wasn't woken up when police knocked on our door at 4 am. Luckily she was alright, just had another unstable moment. It were quite an eventful summer holidays.

Why am I writing all of this. Since all this happened, she always had the urge to tell us everything. What dad did, how horrible he is, how she feels depressed and empty, and even asked us for advice, like: 'what should I do. Divorce him? Kick him out?' Like...in my country I was already an adult, but I still felt like this conversation shouldn't be happening. Afterall how could I give her advice on such matter at my age? I think I felt even more uncomfortable because my whole life, my mum was the authority that was always right. Everything went as she said, other opinions didn't matter. We were walking on eggshells around her constantly, as she could be quite hysterical, and get mad at anything. So when she suddenly treated me like a best friend, telling me her troubles, I sure felt out of place. Don' get me wrong, I dont mind her talking to me, but its all she talks about to this day.

Whenever I want to talk about my day, she only shortly answers, and then continues about how our dad is an a**hole. I try to shift the conversation, but she always comes right back to the dad situation topic. Its exhausting for me. Especially when I had a hard time, and needed reassurance, she just brushed it off, and again the 'me and me' talk.

What worries me more though, is that she talks to my brother (14M) about this stuff. Last time, she was telling him how our dads d*ck was curved. Telling you that I was shocked is an understatement. He is a minor for gods sake. I even found out she is meeting with our dad again, and my brother can hear their...bed activities.

I really dont know what to do. She doesnt listen, even when she literally asks for advice. I really dont want her traumatizing my brother, especially after all that that has happened, and confuse him when she talks crap about dad in front of him, but then literally sleeps with him in the next room?

How should I kindly tell her that I am/my brother not the person she should talk to about these things, and maybe should find some help?

P.S.: she had multiple therapists, but being the manipulative person she is, she persuades the doctor she doesn't need him anymore, or she always says they're not helpful and doesnt visit them anymore.😅

P.S.2: My mum is aware that she shouldn't talk ill about our dad in front of us per the therapist's words, but she knowingly does it anyways.