AITAH for stepping back completely from making any plans with my friend as they no longer want to come over because of my dog?

I recently adopted a second dog. I had no plans to grow my fur family but after a good friend of mine entered palliative care, I was asked to give a good home to their pup. The situation was terrible for everyone. I wanted to help my friend and her pup whatever way I can.

Of course the right thing to do was for the dog to come home with me since I often babysit the dog. I have a litter mate and the dogs get along great. I have the time and space to care for both animals and I’m very experienced with dogs. It’s also a gift from my friend that I can have once they are gone so I love this dog.

My childhood friend just informed me that because of her allergies, she no longer wants to spend time with me unless it’s out the house. My friend is fully aware of the situation and said it was a good decision to adopt the dog.

I’m not sure where this is coming from that she now is making an issue. She has been over before when I have been babysitting, so this exact situation has happened before and there were no complaints. I have pets already, she stays overnight all the time when she doesn’t feel like going home or needs a place to crash. She’s always welcome. The same dog was in the house for months before while she was over and this was not an issue. All of a sudden it is.

I wanted to respect my friend. So I spent hours cleaning and scrubbing my house and doing laundry to respect her allergies. I always stock Costco size packs of allergy pills for her to help mitigate any symptoms when my friend comes over. She rarely plans ahead to take allergy meds before she comes if she thinks she needs them.

My friend got mad today because she wanted to meet up earlier in the day after we had made plans to connect in the evening. I was not ready because I wanted to stick to the original plan to clean the house so it was ready and so I could get some laundry done for the work week. She didn’t like this.

We were watching a movie tonight and my friend complained about her allergies and kick pushed the dog away saying that he was too close to her. The dog knew her and they have a history of playing together and was being friendly. The dog was asking for attention.

I was really pissed and confused and put the dog upstairs with a snack where they would be happier. My friend then said that it looked like she would not be visiting my house anymore and we would have to go out if we want to hang out. I don’t mind going out sometimes, but my friend is very expensive when we do go out and I live on budget just like many people do.

To me this is not a reasonable request as I do not live close. It’s almost an hour away and I can’t afford to go out every time. She also agreed to babysit the dogs for an upcoming work trip and I think this means that she’s last minute backing out of this as well. But if she’s mean to the dog I should be finding another sitter. I hope I can get another friend who will help since boarding both dogs is going to be a significant last minute expense and the dogs don’t do well emotionally in boarding environments.

I’m upset because I open my door anytime, if she needs a place to stay, to borrow my car she can, if she needs to eat I feed her, if she needs something I’m there. I’m not sure what to do here. I feel so disappointed. I’m not in an emotional space to even confront her about it since I’m already upset about my my other friend and their terrible circumstances I can’t do anything about except love this dog and visit the hospital.

I secretly planned some things for my friends birthday next weekend and got her a pretty expensive gift. Now I don’t really want to go after the way she acted. Do I just cancel?

What is going on here? And would I be a jerk to just let it go and let the friendship dissolve?