Me (33M) and my partner (29M) got into an argument because I just wanted to feel heard.

For context: work has been really difficult lately. There’s been a lot of miscommunication about expectations of what we do, etc…, and even though I was able to negotiate some things, I was later told that no matter what I do, things will still be done their way. That left me feeling pretty powerless and frustrated.

So I opened up to my partner about it. Just for a bit of background… he’s always been very vocal about his own work issues. He’s vented a lot about his ex-boss being a jerk and his former team being unsupportive, and I’ve always made myself emotionally available: listening, cuddling, being there for him.

But the one day I really needed support, and sharing updates about my own stressful situation, when I was finally was ready to patch it up, he cut me off. At night, I said, “I’ve had a realization about work…” and he immediately responded with, “Again with that? I don’t want to talk about it. Get over it. It’s just work.”

That really hurt. I found myself shrinking emotionally, trying to bottle it up. But of course, that energy has to go somewhere, and I ended up not being able to sleep. This morning, I woke up angry and told him, “All I needed was to be heard.” I do understand people has the right to say no or yes, spaces are important.

I also understand he’s not my therapist, but I was just asking for some emotional presence. Instead, he told me I need to “read the room” and “deal with my own problems,” which felt extremely invalidating. Then he just walked away.

I know I’ll eventually quit this job, I’m just holding on for personal reasons until I achieve a few things.

What I’m struggling with is this: is it unreasonable to expect some level of reciprocal emotional support for the same topic in a relationship? Am I the asshole here?

Ironically here I am venting off my emotions 😂!