About Six months ago I 26F got out of rehab and I was Extremely lucky to have an about group of people at my rehab. I feel incredible have and lost 43 pounds. In my active addiction I drank vodka like a fish and took an absurd amount of Xanex. I know yikes.
For some context I live in Oregon when I was 20 I started working as a sales rep at a cell phone carrier across the street from my home. I ended up working up and was promoted several times. I was about 23 when I was moved out to California to run new locations there. Eventually I worked from home teaching training classes on zoom. I felt at the time I had succeded, my dad when he was out of college became a manager for the same cell phone carrier and he was really impressed that I did what I did without going to college.
Unfrontuely at this time a horrible addiction was building. It is so crazy what you will give up for your addiction. I am in the process of going to school to be a drug and alcohol abuse couselor. Anyways when I was drunk with no money and at this time had moved in with my best friend and her mom. There had been a house flood and even though we had paid rent insurance is horrible and i needed money to help with an air bnb. and I had tried reaching out to my dad. Listen I understand parents do not need to give their children money but my my parents and I are very close even though the had a bad divorce and he prides himself on being a good dad. Also my dad is very finacially comfortable.
My dad didnt respond but his wife texted me out of the blue when I was drunk and sad and said " We had so much fun at the concert" again at this time my dad was ignoring me. Now this is where I know I'm a bit of an asshole. I was upset and I texted her " My dad hates your son". Now I know this is awful but its also true. He has told me about this. The thing about Diane is from the moment she entered out lives she would never let me or my sister spend time with my dad alone. This was to the point that the Last time i saw my grandma she blew up my dads phone screaming at him. She also went crazy because me and my dad went to have a drink together for the first time, when she got home from work the lights were off she istantly called my dad and screaming he invited her to come but she wouldnt it ruined the night, mind you we were at a resturant ACROSS THE STREET. I could share endless stories of the evil things she did to me and my sister who were struggling from being in the middle of a divorce,

Dianes son is like 20 thats a rough guess he grew up with his dad and she has an older son who she didnt raise and my dads only met once. She grew up in a jahovah wittness type of cult. She cried about it to me and I am very sympathetic I understand trama I was diagnosed with ptsd. Heres the thing I wrote a long kind text apologizing to Diane but my dad said he told her to block me, However I really find it hard to respect her after this long when this could have been solved so easily.

We recently went to see a therapist this was after out biggest argument ever and thats saying something. My best friend who he adores helped me move from arizona back to oregon with two cats and a mattress strapped to the car. I was supposed to come drop off some things there my mattress as I have a bed at my moms while my sister is in austrailia. When we finally got there feeling gross and exahused he wouldnt answer me and then later said we could do it tommarow. I was fine with that but hurt because I could tell he wasn't happy for me to be there. Then we ended up getting into the biggest fight which is hard to even go into but he only wants to focus on what I did when I was drunk and I do understand but I have apologized until I am blue in the face.

Me and him saw his therpist online today she is amazing. She was seeing my mom but then met my dad and very quickly said he had an empathy disorder now we know a a sever empathy disorder. Essentially he is a narcissist in everyway. I is rare to get this diagnosis as they dont like self reflecting but somthing i do aprreciate about my dad is hes always trying to do better I know if this is real or a trait. But I appreciate it. I was overwhelmingly healing as I hadnt spoke with her in years. She was very much on my side as I felt and she talks to him in a way where he dosent feel bad which is so hard to do like end things with "well alot of people have a hard time with it" when the subject was him saying " he didnt learn anything" when he went to a meeting for familys of addcits/ alcoholics.

Sorry last thing here Diane has said i am not allowed in their home mind you its my dads home. He blames my moms for almost everything when she has done nothing but support my sister and I. Once in therapy in rehab My therapist over heard a conversation with him on the phone and told me he was really dangerous and I shouldn't be around it. i agree to a point however I do love my dad and feel I have lost him to an abusive relationship. Do not get me wrong its not that I want to go to his house its the fact that I am unwelcomed and that his wife refuses to work on it. I thought he was a bigger man then this. We do see eachother just when going out to eat which I guess I am ok with that for now I also know I am responsible for my own feelings.

Ok so I do apologize I know This is really long and I still left a lot out but any advice would be great, Also Am I the Asshole? Also I'd love this to be seen on two hot takes lol- Juliet