Hey guys this is a lil burner(ish) account just to get some advice and excuse if some of my wording is shitty considering it’s 1 AM.

There’s this girl I’m like best friends with, but our relationship has always felt complicated. Even back when we first became friends, I often felt like she didn’t genuinely like me. She was usually a little meaner to me than to others, and I ended up constantly seeking her approval without really knowing why. Then, kind of out of nowhere, she decided we were “best friends.” She started FaceTiming me for hours every day, and while we’ve definitely gotten closer, I still feel like I’m the one doing the emotional heavy lifting. It never really feels like I’m what she wants in a friend but just someone who’s available. When she has issues with me, she refuses to communicate directly. Instead, she’ll ignore me or post passive-aggressive things on her spam Instagram account. And when I try to talk to her about how I feel, she acts like I’m in the wrong for being upset. She blames everything on the fact that her mom is dying, and while I truly sympathize with her situation, I don’t believe grief gives someone a free pass to mistreat people who care about them. Whenever we’re in public or even in group chats, I usually end up being the butt of every joke. She constantly uses the fact that I’m “alternative” as an excuse to make comments implying I’m a whore. I don’t care that she calls me emo, it’s the fact that she also describes guys she finds attractive as “hot and emo,” and then talks about me in a similar, objectifying way. It feels like she sees me the same way some of the guys she mocks do. When she’s upset, she lashes out and uses me as her emotional punching bag. She’s shared really personal things with me—which I’ve supported her through, but then gets upset with me if I don’t immediately open up in the same way, like our friendship is a trade of secrets rather than mutual care. We were recently both cast in a musical together, but she dropped out to do lacrosse instead. I didn’t mind, honestly, the space from her negativity was kind of a relief,but I still enjoy spending time with her when things are good between us. The day before opening night, she made plans with a few cast members and some of our mutual best friends who weren’t in the show. She told everyone I was going, but lied to me about who else was invited. When I asked the others directly, they told me the truth,that she’d been lying. I told her I’d rather do something with the full cast, since we’d all worked so hard together. After that, she got really dry over text and barely responded. Then on opening night, I found out she’d invited a bunch more people from the cast, people she hadn’t mentioned before, and didn’t include the ones she had originally talked about. At the end of the show, during crew acknowledgments, she literally raised her hand from the back of the auditorium and asked for applause for being the “social media advisor,” even though she hadn’t made a single post without the director pushing her, and she even tried to withhold the login from the stage manager. So now I’m stuck in a weird place, im still her best friend, but i just feel drained, disrespected, and kind of used. Would I be the asshole if I slowly distanced myself or set some boundaries because of the way she’s been treating me?