This is long. TW pregnancy loss/ domestic violence

Dated an alcoholic who turned abusive. Physically emotionally and verbally. But he was really the love of my life before it got bad. We broke up and he hooked up with other girls during the relationship (cheated) and after we didn’t talk for a month he hooked up with more. Fast forward we were in a “situationship” because he didn’t want to commit or be exclusive. He was talking to girls, on dating apps. I asked one more time and was rejected on commitment. I finally got tired of waiting (2 years) and I went out one night and hooked up with someone. I’ve never had that happen and have a pretty low body count. (Demisexual). I had told him it was done, I don’t want a situationship. Well he showed up when the guy was over (he thinks he heard us doing it, but we didn’t have sex this night so he’s lying) and broke into my apartment and I pressed charges on him. I got him OUT of felony charges and they dropped them to a misdemeanor. We got everything taken care of he got sober and said he wanted to marry me and he was ready and losing me that night made him see. Fast forward we got pregnant (his idea) and I lost the baby. He gets extremely distant once he found out I was actually pregnant. He was not there for me during the loss of our baby at all. He started treating me differently and being mean to me. He said that he couldn’t get over the fact that I had slept with someone else. We were not together and I had told him I did not want a Situationship with him. I expressed that I wanted commitment or to be exclusive. He refused. I took this as he didn’t wanna be with me and I ended up sleeping with someone else. We were not together. He is saying that I am a whore and that the other guy got me the first night he met me. This is the first time I have ever done that. I am not a whore. He is saying that he can’t get over what happened and he thinks of another guy being with me when we are intimate now. This makes him not want to try for the relationship and he has began to treat me like shit. He now calls me names doesn’t say anything nice to me. Doesn’t even want to call me before bed. But he has no problem asking for nudes. I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore, but he says he loves me. He just can’t get over what I did.

Am I the asshole? Did I ruin this relationship?

I really loved this guy and the only reason I went to someone else was because I felt unloved and was in a very vulnerable state not making good decisions.