So this is my first time posting here, and I’m more looking for Advise, fake names because I wanna keep this anonymous to keep anyone from getting doxed. Buckle up this is gonna be long. For context I’m a 23M and this involves my former best friend “Charles”23M, and his fiancé “Diana” 22F. Me and Charles have been childhood friends, and have known each other since grade school. We’ve been close ever since, spare for a few years when I was in college and he dated his first fiancé whom i couldn’t stand. 3 years lapsed and after I dropped outta school, and moved back to our home town, I had found out that that relationship had ended (she cheated and I was not surprised), we rekindled our friendship. At this point he introduced his new fiance to me Diana. For about a year us three where pretty much inseparable, hanging out consistently, going shopping, camping, hiking etc. we started discussing wanting to get an apartment together.

This is kinda where the issues start so bear with me, we saved for months to get a place and when the time came for us to sign, they said that they didn’t have the money and were close to being homeless do to problems at home. I ended up taking out a personal loan to cover our deposit, a choice which has left me somewhat financially strained since. At the time I had asked them to send me what ever money they could to help me cover the payments, and they said they could do that. They never sent me any money to help cover the deposit. It’s at this point that our dynamics shifted in not a great way. Diana started making new rules outta no where, that frankly were out there. For example my roommates knew that I had a group that I consistently played DND with have done so for the past two years, and our sessions go on pretty late. The first month we lived together this became a major issue when on Sundays I would come home around 11 or 12 o’clock. I would do my best to enter quietly and respectfully, but Diana said that she was such a light sleeper that I would wake her up regardless, and that she thought it was best I dropped out of our campaign because every-time I came home late she thought someone was breaking in even though I had a key. They both went so far as to actually threaten to shoot me on accident, do to the thought of burglars. So we set a curfew of 10 o’clock, which they themselves broke no less than three times coming in quite loudly at 3 to 4 in the morning.

Our financial situation was also not looking good. On multiple occasions I was asked to help them cover bill, such as their car payment and insurance. Meanwhile I’m struggling to cover my own bills. Diana’s personality also completely shifted. When I went to get a haircut after 4 months of not doing so since before we moved in, I was verbally berated for how much I spent ($30) claiming I wasn’t fiscally responsible. I pointed out that she gets her hair done and new acrylic nails done twice a month and that was significantly more than I spent on my haircut. She said that the way she spent her money was none of my business, and I said that’s fair but if that’s the case why do I have to help her and Charles out with bills so often. I was then screamed at for holding that over their head meanwhile Charles is hiding in the back not saying anything. A typical response when there was conflict.

Diana’s and Charles perspectives also shifted when we moved in with one other, and they start spewing some very homophobic, and racist commentary, that previously they had not exposed. I pointed out that it made me insanely uncomfortable seeing that I’m bi with a preference for men, and have many black relatives. Neither of these where ever an issue before. They both said that I should get over their personal beliefs because they wouldn’t change, and that I should consider myself lucky that I am “ one of the good ones”. At the same time Diana really started pushing me to date exclusively women and really started shove her religion down my throat. No hate towards Christian’s, many of my family are, I am just not one. I kindly explained that my relationship with religion is complicated one, and I had no interest in perusing Christianity again. At this point another blow up happens with Diana claiming I have little to no respect for her religious beliefs.

The straw that actually broke the camel’s back so to speak, was my dog. I had explained to them before we had moved in that me and my doctors had discussed getting a service dog. I have POTs and EDS which sometimes causes me to pass out, along with some other issues that go along with that. The first month we moved in Diana adopted a cat with CH or wobbly cat syndrome. He was admittedly cute, but had other issues that came along with that, including bathroom issues, which left a bunch of cat urine throughout the apartment, and a lingering smell that I could never get rid of. (I did most of the cleaning). I know it is not the cats fault and having disabilities myself I understood that he couldn’t help it, but regardless Diana had promised to have him litter box trained or even potty pad trained, so I wouldn’t be left to clean up after him. I still did. Well around three months in a coworker approached me and said that her dog was having a litter of puppies, and asked if I had wanted had wanted one seeing that she knew I was seeking a service animal. I told her I would discuss with my roommates and get back with her. I talked to them each individually, and both Charles and Diana agreed that I could adopt. My doctor forwarded the paperwork, and my little ray of sunshine got to come home at 7 weeks. I was really worried that the cat and my dog wouldn’t get along so I wanted them both introduced slowly. Diana did not respect this, would try and force them to play together. I did not like this because in my opinion forcing a disabled cat, and puppy together in a confined space was not a great recipe for success. Once while I was passed out unconscious, she took my puppy from in front of me and shoved both her and the cat together inside of his cat tube. My puppy trying to play with the cat got too rough (who would’ve guessed). When I finally regained my consciousness I was not a happy person because one they didn’t check to make sure I was okay, and two they completely disregarded my wishes and lead my puppy away from unconscious body. The exact opposite of she is being trained to do. This causes another fight because Diana needed them to get along, and I said that it was not okay to rip my puppy from my lifeless body, to do so.

At about two weeks in after taking my baby out, I was putting her leash away, and she had gotten a hold of one of the cat toys (a $5 dollar mouse) and chewed it up before I could get to her. This is something that we had all discussed as a possibility and I said that I would happily replace anything that she chewed up. In the thirty seconds it took me to put her leash away Diana had witnessed this and full force punched my puppy in her snout. I was understandably floored, and reprimanded her for treating any animal in that way. She claimed that I wasn’t doing a good enough job training her, even though I had her almost potty trained at 9 weeks and she was progressing really well on obedience training. At this point I told her that she need to seek help because that was not a natural reaction to something innocent, and can’t tell her toys apart from the cats. She said that was an incredible offensive thing to say since she had tried 7 different therapist and many different medications and none of it worked. She said that she can’t control how she reacts to anything and she wouldn’t expect me too. I said it is not offensive to suggest therapy, as I was in it myself, and honestly that she should try again, because clearly she wasn’t acting in a respectful manner. This was our biggest fight, and she said I had no respect for her dignity as a women, and clearly had never lived with one before. I have lived with women my entire life, I have a mom, and two sisters, and have lived with female roommates in the past, and had no issues. They also never acted that way. She said that they didn’t have the complex trauma that she had. I said I’m not here to make you feel bad for your trauma but that she need to work through it because it was seriously affecting her personal relationships. Previously all of her friends including her bridal party all cut her off, amongst other family issues causing the engagement to go on for about 2-3 years. She said some pretty heinous things afterwords that I won’t repeat here, but I just stopped interacting, and she thought she had “gotten through to me”. The next day I took a half day off of work packed my stuff and left just leaving my key behind, while they were at work. I knew that I didn’t trust her anymore around my dog let alone myself.

I guess I just feel bad because I lost a close childhood friend over this, and honestly I think their relationship is quite toxic, and I fear Diana may be financially, and emotionally abusing him. They fight constantly, and I have thought about calling the cops on more than one occasion. I have thought about sending a letter in the mail to explain my side of things, but everyone is telling me to just cut my losses and move on. Me and my beautiful girl are in a much happier and safer place, but my conscious is certainly getting the better of me. Reddit AMITAH?