My (28M) wife (25F) had a Bilateral Oophorectomy done at 15 due to stage II ovarian cancer. I knew that we would never be able to have children going into our marriage which is fine. We have a lot of niblings to spoil. One of the newest members is to be born here shortly. Another edition to the family is the puppy my wife and I adopted. We wanted a little one we could spoil in our home. I have also finished up my military career so we can now settle into our new home and life. The timing for us to adopt this puppy was perfect.

We made our little announcement last Sunday when it was our time to host a family dinner. Our little girl (Jack Russell Terrier) will be ready to come home this upcoming Monday. Everyone was just as excited as if they were welcoming another baby into the family. They are understanding of our situation about not having children rather it's done by other means (IVF, surrogacy, adoption) these options have been discussed and they are not for us.

At dinner nobody said anything when we said that we were keeping the shelter name, Isobel. Some of the items for our puppy have the name on it. We are waiting for a few more items to arrive. Our puppy is kinda spoiled. Even family members got toys and treats for us. My mother is sewing up a "baby blanket" with Isobel on it. A tradition kept for all the grandbabies. Which my wife and I are grateful to be included. We didn't expect a blanket at all.

Now the issue is her sister (31F) is pregnant. This is her and her wife's (38F) fifth (they have a set of twins) using IVF. They wanted a big family which is fine as long as they can afford it. We never took issue with it, but I suspect her sister always felt a certain way, since we are not too quiet about how we are against IVF for ourselves. The risks involved are not worth a baby to us. It has been a hot topic for some time since we don't have children and IVF clearly worked for my wife's sister.

Her sister called and said we had to change the name of our puppy and that it would be easy (renaming can be easy, especially at a young age) since it's a puppy and not a baby, because they chose the name Isobel first and just did not announce it yet. She continued on about how it's a family name on her wife's side.

I am not dumb. I called up her wife (we have a great relationship) and asked if what was said was true. I explained I had no problem changing the name if Isobel was important to them or something. I had an honest conversation with her. Isobel is in fact her great grandmother's name, but she's really not going to fuss over it. She told me that she has to back up her wife, understandable. I agreed the pregnancy hormones are crazy. I told her good luck and did warn her that we were keeping the name since my wife adores it. We had a laugh over our mutual understanding of how crazy both our wives (both type A personality) can be.

Her sister all day Friday had bugged us and the rest of the family about changing the name. My mother stopped working on the quilt just in case we decided to keep the peace and change the puppy's name. I told my wife to stand on her ground. They can name their baby Isobel or a different spelling (as my wife suggested if they wanted) we aren't bothered. We don't have anything to lose or to gain. Eventually the family will stop referring to us as assholes, right? Should we change the name of our puppy? In this case is it fair of us to choose to be the assholes?