In short My bf (38) moved back to his parents house last year to help with 2 younger (in their 30’s) brothers that are struggling with addiction, he helps in the family business and dealing with them. All of our plans were ruined with this decision, I waited patiently more than a year for this to be sorted out and it has yet to be resolved. One brother went to rehab and is clean and the other is an active user. Well my mother in law decided that she would give the active user a space to live along with the fresh out of rehab brother. IN THE SAME HOUSE! My BF is the eldest so you could imagine all the responsibilities that gets thrown at him. This affected our relationship negatively, although I tried to be understanding I feel that he is dragging me and wasting my time. I do love him, we had plans to move in etc. but I had to give him an ultimatum, I see him deteriorated emotionally and physically, yet he doesn’t see the negative impact that this is causing on his life and future. There is also manipulation from the in-laws (they used to be Mormon) the father went back to being Mormon but everything else is a shit show. I tried therapy so I could deal with him and his situation, but now a small stupid disagreement turned into a big argument because this man is drained emotionally and cannot deal with the relationship. I left him all of January and he came back promising changes that I have yet to see, the most important one is to get the f*** out of that mad house! Am I the asshole for giving him an ultimatum? Any advice on this?