So my husband and I have been together over 6 years now and his mother only ever made an effort to get to know me when I was pregnant. We ended up losing that baby in the second trimester. She didn't talk to me again for about a year. Then she started talking to me the day we announced our second pregnancy. When we had first gotten together and I tried speaking to him about how she treated me because it was so upsetting that she never wanted to get to know me, he told me to stop talking about it and to stop crying. Now, we have our child and every time there's a holiday it's so stressful because he's always worried about his mothers feelings. We set boundaries and she just pushes them constantly. She gave an ultimatum prior to the birth of our son to let her be more involved or she would cut him out of her life. The only time we have real issues is when it comes to her. My husband is more concerned about butting heads with the family he came from than the family he created. I'm so uncomfortable around her but it doesn't matter as long as his mother is happy with the outcome. What should I do? I don't want to leave but I don't want to be pushed around and made to feel uncomfortable. I dread every holiday now. Would I be the asshole if I stopped being fake nice and just acted as unhappy as she makes me feel?