I (25m) started dating my first Call him W(now 40m) when I was 18. (Don’t judge, I’ve always been very mature for my age). We were together for 5 years.
Life was lovely. Did lots of travelling together. I felt in love. Just enjoyed life and having someone. Unfortunately trust was broken. And things were never the same. We tried and lasted another 2.5 years. But I eventually ended it as we hadn’t been intimate since the start of the pandemic and I wanted “more”. I then met someone else C(36m), kicked it off greatly! Had me believe I was the one and we would get married eventually. Became close to his family, they loved me. Both had very similar ideas and plans of the future. Unfortunately that only lasted 8 months. Was told that he “is no longer in love with me” 2 months ago, and now he is with someone else. I’ve obviously been feeling very alone. Just miss having someone. Even as a “friend”. I’ve been thinking about W for a while. Thinking back of all the fun things we did. I know I can’t compare partners. W and I have decided to hang out together. Things will never be the same again which is understandable. But I’m excited to see him just in a friendly manner. Part of me hopes that we’ll be able to travel together again, spend time away together. Nothing sexual (as I know it would be absolutely cruel to lead him on, and I know it would never be the same as before), but I’m already hoping and dreaming of us just cuddling on the couch. And hugging. He gave the most amazing hugs and I long to be hugged. AITAH to continue and see where he and I go? Or should I stop before it starts?

TL;DR Want to start a friendship with my first bf. In hopes to not feel so alone. Will not start sexual relationship just friendly/cuddling/travelling relationship.