I (27M) am working every night through the onboarding process for a new job. I’ve been doing 1-1.5 hours of training for 3-4 nights now. My girlfriend (21F) and I are planning on moving at the end of May, in 6ish weeks. I am shipping out to start my job May 13th. I’ll be working 3 weeks on and coming home for 3 weeks on a rotational schedule.

We are stressing because this onboarding is a lot of prep work, and moving is a whole job in itself. I want to get as much moving and packing done asap so that she’s not stuck moving a bunch of stuff on her own. I’m planning on moving most of our stuff into my storage unit while I’m still here so she doesn’t have to do much by herself.

For the past 2 nights we have both planned our evenings. I get off work at 6 and she at 5. My plan last night: -go to gym -come home and do 1-2 hours of training -eat dinner with her and enjoy the rest of my evening

Her plan last night: -come home -walk her dog in the park (she prefers these alone which doesn’t bother me because I prefer lifting weights alone) -get laundry done and packed away -cook some dinner for us

I did all of my stuff. She managed to go for a walk and cook dinner which was really good and I really appreciated it. After that though she sat in the bath for 4 hours and not only didn’t do the laundry stuff but also bailed on our time together.

Tonight our plans were pretty much the same as before with a couple of insignificant errands thrown in.

This time she didn’t do any of her stuff. She came home and has been doom scrolling. She’s not feeling great tonight so I get it.. but sometimes it’s just exhausting to hear excuse after excuse to not get the work done. Nobody wants to do the work but it needs to be done. This isn’t the first time she’s told me she’d take care of some chores and then just ignored them. I’m not perfect either, I have my lazy days.. but I’m tired of all the stress and pressure landing on my shoulders and then having to be the asshole to tell her it’s time to kick it into gear.

Around 8:30 she starts telling me to go take a shower so we can cuddle (I smell from the gym but wanted to get right to work on the training). After she kept saying stuff like that over and over again while I was pleading with her that I was almost done and just had to finish up, I finally snapped and said “someone in this house has to uphold their responsibilities.”

I feel shitty.

Sorry for the long one with basically no fun.

TLDR;I was snide with her and I feel bad about it. She works hard and takes care of me when I’m feeling low. I just get so worn down when all the responsibilities seem to land in my lap.