Hello I will get right to the bottom. I(31F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for over a year. Things were good in the beginning but slowly I started seeing some red flags here and there. He would act selfish a lot of times, like making a bigger plate of food for himself, being greedy and selfish in other scenarios as well. I realised he has an addiction problem (with smoking weed) and he is always chasing some kind of a high, like a dopamine hit, whether it’s pot or drinking or food or sugar or sex or occasional pills like Md. He has no self control and wants to stretch the pleasure as much ch as possible. He ends up abusing it. At the beginning of the relationship we would smoke together and be high almost all day. Like he would roll back to back joints with zero chill. At some point we ended up trying some Md and L (because I wanted to try as I had never) and it seemed like he was trying to stretch that trip as well. i hit rock bottom, felt ashamed of myself and when I got sober I told him this is not the kind of life I wanted to live. That i wanted to quit smoking, and that I would prefer to not date someone who smokes. He told me he wanted to quit too, and we did. Things were good for about four months. Then he started hiding and lying to me and doing cocaine (i caught him doing it around four times during that period), and smoking pot again. The lies never stopped. He would cry and say he wanted to quit and he was going to. He would smoke again and I would catch him lying again. I gave ultimatums, tried being nice, understanding. A month later it seemed like he was fine. He had started working, earning money. Then one day he had an en episode where he broke down and called me screaming saying he was dying. He basically had an episode where he got super baked and felt like he was having a heart attack. He ended up coming clean, saying he had been lying to me all this while month about where he was going and what he was doing. Basically he would say that he was going to the park to chill in the sun or going climbing but he would actually go to smoke, and that he didn’t wanna live this double life. He started seeing a therapist, he told me he didn’t wanna lose me and he wanted to get better. But the lies continued. Then he got fired from his work. Because he lacks motivation and is not passionate about anything. Around the same time we were supposed to attend a wedding of his friend. We had to commute around two to three hours to get there. Before we left I told him I wanted to be back around 10pm because I was supposed to travel for work the next day and I wanted to rest. Throughout the party i felt alone, he would leave my side and wander off. Searching for more alcohol or sneaking out to smoke(i only caught him smoking an electric cigarette but I am sure he smoked other stuff). I felt like I was there by myself, I didn’t know these people, they were his friends, I didn’t speak the language. We ended up staying till 11:30 pm after which I told him I wanted to leave. He wanted to party more, he dropped me till the gate, got mad and went back to the party. Basically he let me go by myself without an ounce of care. I was all alone in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night with ten percent battery. I walked for an hour till I just had 3 percent and realised I wont make it with the public transport. So I ended up booking a cab and getting home. He sent me messages after a couple of hours saying he came after me when he got back to his senses and looked for me for hours but couldn’t find me. And he had no battery in his phone as well. He came back home the next morning and I told him I wanted to break up. Now he is sitting in front of me crying. AITAH?