i literally do not feel comfortable with my mum, at all and quite frankly i definitely hate her. she'll always criticise anything i do always picking part my action's. she'll get annoyed over a small inconvenience. she'll call me names such as retard and make fun of my intelligence knowing i'm diagnosed with autism.her most recent ex boyfriend lived with us for about 3-4 years after he got of of PRISON for god knows what.

while living with us he would sell illegal substances mind you she had 2 kids, 3 with me included and the youngest at the time was 1-2 so imagine what would happen if she got ahold of the substances? he would was overly violent and physical with her 4 times and 4 times we had to literally leave the house and the last time this happened we couldn't go home after a whole week. no he wasn't threatening her to staying any way she stayed on her on will (he also cheated and had another kid while with her)

we have no relationship at all let alone a bond i think partly cause i serverly dislike her

but she has never been there for me whenever i'd tell her about my mental health problems she'd brush it off and say maybe have a hot bath and some tea after i told her i was thinking of ending my life.

she views me as dirty and won't even let my sisters chill in my bed because a few times my motivation for hygiene was low because of my mental health issues (but over the couple years it hasn't been low at all) she'll say "don't go on her bed it's dirty" and even one time my sister got a rash and on the same day she went on my bed and my mum blamed it on me because i'm supposedly 'dirty'

she even refused to let me eat the food she cooked for about a week because i called her a bitch under my breath and she heard it. everything she does is unreasonable and she reasons it with 'i'm a adult' and she thinks she's right about literally everything.

she will blame me for EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. i never blame anything for anything unless im certain of it and recently my sister has been using my charger it broke so i confronted her about how my charger has been fine for atleast four years and as soon as she started to use it, it broke. and my mum said "well chargers do that after a while" it's not a coincidence, my sister has only been using my charger because she broke hers and why would it randomly decide to break after i've been using it for and 4 years.

she has double standards and never says sorry for anything. if she does something wrong oh it's alright but when it's me she'll go fucking off on me.

some days she's overly nice like doing nice gestures, brings drinks to my room, buys me stuff she knows i like without asking and other days she's just a fucking monster

it's certain to say i definitely hate her but i don't know if im overreacting or not.