(I want to clear out that i used AI to check on grammar because english is not my first language and i want to get this off my chest without the peoplpe involved knowing since i know they don't speak english and while i speak and understend it 100%, my grammar and storytelling habilities are not great, non the less this story is 100% real)

Alright, so this is a weird one, and honestly, I’m still not sure how to feel about it.

My best friend — let’s call him Rod (straight, 25M) — and I (bi, 25M) have been best friends since elementary school. We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, and at this point, we’re basically like brothers.

I’ll admit, our friendship might seem a little unconventional to some people. We have zero personal space or boundaries, and that’s always been fine for us. We’ve seen each other naked a million times, shared beds, and even had sex in the same room — each with our own partners, obviously. We’ve shared showers at the gym when it’s crowded, that kind of thing.

People have asked if we’re secretly a thing, especially since I’m bi. Even Rod’s parents sat us down once and said they’d support us if we were together — they just wanted us to admit it. But honestly, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Rod is 100% straight, and I’ve never been attracted to him. We’re just really affectionate and comfortable with each other. Besides, I’m in a long-term relationship with the actual love of my life, and I’m planning to propose this summer.

Some of Rod’s exes were a little weirded out by me at first, but once they got to know me, it was always chill. A couple of them I still talk to on social media. But then came his new girlfriend, Haley (23F).

Haley’s one of those “nice Christian girls” who isn’t blatantly homophobic, but definitely has some... opinions. As usual, Rod introduced me to her in a more formal setting — something we always do when a new partner comes around. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable with me being bi, but we got through the evening fine, and I actually thought she was sweet. I really thought she was good for Rod — she’s the kind of girl he’s been hoping to find, and I was happy for him.

Fast forward a couple of months, and we planned a sleepover at Rod’s apartment. Yes, we’re grown-ass men who still have sleepovers — it’s just our thing. Haley was going to be there for a bit, but wasn’t planning to stay the night.

Everything started out great. We played Mario Party, had a few drinks, and just chilled. At some point, I made a dumb joke about Rod being circumcised — I can’t even remember exactly what I said. It’s just one of those long-running inside jokes because he’s the only one in our group who is.

But Haley did not take it well.

She kept asking, “Why does he even know that?” over and over again, and yeah, it got uncomfortable. But Rod, being completely oblivious as usual, thought she was joking too. So he doubled down and started saying how close we are, how I know a bunch of stuff about him, and even brought up that one time during a winter trip when we spooned in bed because it was freezing cold in the cabin.

I wanted to melt into the floor.

For us, that kind of stuff is normal, but I totally get how someone else might not see it that way. Haley looked horrified. I laughed awkwardly and tried to change the subject, but from that moment, the vibe shifted.

She was clearly uncomfortable and cold toward me. Everything we’d built during our earlier hangouts just disappeared. Rod, of course, didn’t notice anything — classic Rod.

Then it hit her: Rod’s apartment is a one-room studio, and yes, we were going to share the bed that night. As soon as she realized it, she suddenly announced that she was staying over, and she sounded kind of desperate. Rod pointed out there wasn’t much space, and then she turned to me, full-on glaring, and said:

“He can sleep on the floor. It’s not appropriate for two grown men to share a bed — especially considering his condition.”

And that’s when I lost it.

Up to that point, I’d kept my cool. I was trying to respect her beliefs, even if I didn’t agree with them. But that crossed a line. I could feel the anger hit, and yeah — I let it out. I said:

“You might have him in bed, but he’ll never care for you as much as he cares for me. He’s called a lot of girls his girlfriend, but he’s only ever called me the love of his life. I came first and I’ll always be first.”

The silence in the room was deafening.

Haley looked disgusted. Rod finally started to catch on and gave me that look — the one we always give each other when things get complicated, like “Dude, I don’t know what to do.” Haley demanded that he say something, but he just sat there frozen.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed my stuff, and walked out.

It’s been a few days. I haven’t talked to either of them directly. Rod’s still sending me memes and reels on Instagram like nothing happened, but we haven’t said a word about what went down. Maybe I crossed a line. Maybe I said too much. But I also feel like I was pushed to that point.

Rod really likes Haley. I know he’s happy with her, and I want him to be happy. He’s been through a lot of failed relationships, and he deserves something good. But I also don’t want to lose what we have. I know Haley’s going to want to put distance between us now, and that scares me.

So… am I the asshole for what I said?