My partner (30) and his sister (28) have been on the outs since our baby was born. It started when we stated in order to be around our baby as a newborn, our loved ones would need to get the tdap and flu vax. She caused a huge deal over it and pretty much blamed me for it saying I am controlling him when it was a mutual decision. My partner and his sister have never been super close and I have only been around her two or three times at dinner so she genuinely does not know me. After her blowing up on him about the vax, he decided to sit down with her. She apologized for blowing up and then went to say how I am hiding him from my social media because I didn’t tag him in the post announcing my daughters birth (it was my first post in over a year and my boyfriend didn’t even have fb up until a month before she was born), then she said that I am using him and that I am going to kick him to the curb and leave him homeless (our home is under my name since I had the 150k down payment and he didn’t have anything to put down), and she kept referring to me as his baby mama. She also began talking about my character and said it’s obvious I am controlling him. He told her the only way he will be okay with her again is if she works on becoming nicer. She got up and left. She blocked us both on fb and made a long rant about him. She even went as far to post screenshots from her friend saying how good of a person she is trying to prove something it or something lol. I messaged her trying to resolve whatever issue she has with me because clearly there is one and she said there was no point because she doesn’t want him in her life anymore and from what he says he’s happy so I don’t have to explain myself. She then said there will be “two seats” at her upcoming wedding for people who actually care to get to know her. I responded a snarky comment saying actually three seats, I think you forgot about your niece. By the time I said that she had already blocked my phone number so unless she has an Apple Watch or MacBook, she never received it.

Anyways, they haven’t spoke since. My daughter is 6 months old now. His dad’s birthday was the other day and he said the only thing he wants for his birthday is for those two to sit down at dinner with him. His dad also made a comment about how my daughter better be the flower girl in her wedding. My partner was annoyed by this and said he will not be speaking at dinner but he will go because it’s his dad’s bday and he feels too guilty to miss it. They are at dinner right now.

Firstly, my daughter will not be the flower girl in her wedding (her wedding is in September) and I don’t care if that makes me an asshole. She hasn’t cared about getting to know her and she is not going to use my daughter as a prop in her wedding. Secondly, I am all for my boyfriend doing whatever makes him happy. If he wants to make up with her, fine, but would I be the asshole if I didn’t accept her back in my life without an apology towards me directly? She was incredibly disrespectful and I honestly just have no desire to be around her ever again. I will if I have to for my partner and daughter, but even for my daughter’s sake it makes me sad that this girl is her aunt. She speaks to her family terribly. Their mom even told me she thinks she is a narcissist (she learned in therapy that her ex- their dad is a narcissist after the divorce too). She told me that their daughter is just like him. I personally just don’t want my daughter around someone like that but I obviously care about my partner so I wouldn’t be spiteful like that. But would I be the asshole if I expected an apology from her? I genuinely don’t think I will be able to be around her and not completely resent her if not. But I also don’t want to be immature. And if she doesn’t apologize, what would you guys do?