A few days had gone by, and I want to say that I appreciate everyone who replied to my post because it really lifted the heavy weight in my heart. Recently I've been the topic of our family group chat, and a lot of my relative's messages were about how I wouldn't understand because I'm not a parent yet (I don't plan to be one because I've spent my whole life taking care of other people and I want to prioritize myself). They also told me how one day my karma will come, and my future son/daughter will also do the same to me, they even kept sending bible verses about being an obedient child, respecting your parents, and how children who turn their back against their parents will not ever be blessed in life (jokes on them, I'm agnostic). I blocked everyone aside from my cousins that understands my situation.

About the therapy that you are all suggesting, maybe soon when I have earned enough money since there are still a lot of things that I have to pay for. And for those wondering, I haven't received any apologies from my mother till now and I don't think it will happen any time soon.

I really do appreciate everyone who commented, it is nice to have people to talk to who wouldn't tell me "She is still your mother" and "be the bigger person and just understand her". Maybe soon there will be a space in my heart even if it's just for my sake, but for now, the wound is still fresh, and I don't think that it will heal that fast too.