To start, this is but a drop in a lake of BS, I just wanted to use this instance as an example since it's the last straw.

We've had a cat, Winnie, for a little more than a year now. He wandered onto our porch, and we asked our mom if she was equipped to keep him, and she said she was happy too. My mother is by no means young. She knows what she's doing with dogs and cats, she's had at least 3 of each in her life. She knows kittens scratch furniture regardless, she knows the litterbox stinks, she knows they get the zoomies 24/7 until a year old. But when it conveniences her, she pretends she doesn't.

Once my sister moved out, our mom said she was fed up with the cat's behavior and he needed to go with her, so my sister took the cat to her new place and that was that. We were pissed because she was clearly weaponizing her incompetence to inconvenience everyone else, cuz as moms say "I must be a terrible mother and everybody hates me and I should just die on a rock since nobody wants me here".

When a roommate of my sister's said she couldn't keep the cat there anymore, we started to join forces to look for a solution, because our dad couldn't take him either. Eventually it was between the SPCA and back at our mom's, who oh so graciously offered for him to be a "porch kitty" (glorified outdoor cat she doesn't care about), and we took the offer because it was better than nothing. Now he is not allowed in at all, she freaks out if he sets a single paw in when I'm standing right next to him blocking him, etc. Now he goes into our neighbor's house, which I found out earlier tonight, they leave their back sliding door ajar for him.

I am not okay with this. He does not need the confusion of having two owners, because we feed him, clean his litter, has a bed here, we medicate him. My mother seems to have no issue with it though. I'm caught between confronting our neighbor and asking them not to leave their door open for him, or confronting my mom and telling her she needs to act her age. WIBTA?

TL:DR WIBTA for telling my mom to act like an adult?