My dad's house is an absolute mess. When I lived there recently for five months, I would have to worry about how I smelled sometimes when I came out of the house. He is also an alcoholic, and sadly, I don't think he really has the motivation to get help for his habits. So, when it got to be too much for me, I asked if he could get me a house in my old hometown, and I could do a lot of my stuff locally. I would pay the bills, he would pay off the house. He said okay, knowing it was hard for me to live there and also having an investment property.

I have had conversations with him regarding my concern for his physical and mental health. He got bit by one of his cats, and I got anxious that he could get a disease from it, so I tried to urge him to go to the emergency room. He said no, and I said it disappointed me that he didnt care and he replied with, "great, so i disappoint you too." I asked if he still goes to therapy, he said no. I told him, "alcohol and Lexapro don't mix" and he said "well, that just means you'll get my inheritance faster". I assured him multiple times that my cousin has offered to help him clean and I said multiple times that I would give him my cousin's number on multiple occasions, and he still hasn't asked for it, when it's been three weeks. His best friend has offered to help him clean as well, and he says, "I don't want her to see the house like this." I cleaned the living room half a year ago when he was on a business trip, and left all the boxes on the couch for us to look through later, but we never did. I've tried to clean up the room I moved into, but it kept filling up with more trash because I didn't want to deal with it. It still looks a hell of a lot better than when I moved in, but the problem is I did most of the cleaning myself. I bought two mops, a bucket, a new broom/dustpan, all purpose cleaner, and windex and after taking an hour and a half to clean the bathroom counter just for it to still look dirty because i had to take all the stuff off, throw away the trash and then put it back on, I was just thinking the house is uncleanable. I think I told him we should hire people to clean the house, or at least something along the lines of that, so we could at least be able to invite people over. He replied with, "you forget that I don't like people." most likely as a joke, but the response still made me upset. I've told him multiple times he could come live with me or at least do a trial run, he said there wouldn't be enough room. It's a three bedroom rancher with a detached garage and a huge yard, so there is 100% enough room. I said I think his house is holding him back from being happy, he replies with, "i'm not unhappy". I feel like this is 100% a lie because he's an alcoholic, went back to smoking, watches tv/youtube/tiktok all day and he has no friends apart from one that he doesn't even want to invite over because he doesn't want her to see the house. It feels hopeless to try and do this by myself because he'll reply with denial.

Here is where my idea comes in. I know where his best friend lives. I've been over there multiple times for gatherings among her family. Considering that I feel like I won't get through to him, I would like to ask her for help. She is not a toxic friend, I have seen it first hand. I have been with both of them countless times and he clearly enjoys interacting with her. I want to go and knock on her door and tell her all of these things that I have said on here, so me and her can work together and try and figure out a plan to help him. She has known him for decades, and most likely knows more about him as a person. I don't like feeling like I've neglected my father from living the life he was born to live. I want to see if we can get group therapy or something to help him get his life on track. Would I be the asshole? If so, how would you approach this?