Hi, I need some advice because I really don't know what to do or how to even go about this. I (21F) got into my first relationship (my first anything! I had never even kissed anyone before) a few months ago. I'm on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, and although I'm still figuring things out I have learned that even if I don't really experience sexual attraction I still enjoy physical intimacy. It's hard to even find someone who is willing to engage with me because they don't understand how I can be ace and aro and still want to have sex.

My partner (20F) is aware of this and I started out the relationship thinking it would be more of a FWB sort of situation and I thought we were both on the same page. We have never been exclusive, which is completely fine with me (I think I would be more uncomfortable if we WERE exclusive). However I don't think we really were on the same page after all because I feel like we have gotten a bit too deep a bit too fast. She said she is in love with me and I feel terrible that I don't have those feelings back. I also feel like she has some attachment issues and she has said things that make me worry she is going to be very upset if I break things off. I don't think she meant to, but she did. She even once said she had a nightmare that I broke up with her and she was really upset about it. She didn't blame me or get angry or anything but it still made me feel really bad that something like that could stress her out to the point of causing nightmares. Another thing I feel maybe went too quickly was the sex. It was only a few days in that we tried some BDSM things and it was fun, but after a few times I started to feel overwhelmed and like I didn't want that to be the only thing we ever did, but I don't know how to backpedal. I just feel like everything is going too fast.

I am at school right now in a different town so I won't see her in person until May, and I know I have been getting distant in my messages and calls and I feel really bad about it. My problem is that her home situation and her mental health right now is really not good and I don't want to make everything worse for her. She has plans to move across the country later this year and I know when that happens she will have a much more stable situation and a better support system. I don't want to make things worse for her, especially since this week has been really particularly bad, but I keep saying I'll wait until something passes and then another bad thing happens. She's really going through it right now and I don't want to be the jerk who makes everything even worse. I want to make sure she's in a good environment with people that actually care about her, but I don't know if waiting that long to break things off would only make me a horrible person. I think maybe I am already since I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now. Maybe I'm the asshole for thinking I could make a FWB situation work even though everyone says they never do. I just want her to be okay.