I'm 17f, and I have a guy friend. I have considered him my best friend for five years or so, he has always been there when I needed him, and he even prevented me from offing myself. However our friendship hasn't been all that good because of me, when we were 12 I was pretty unbearable and harmfully impulsive, and when we were 13 I verbally fought with him over any and every minor detail (Like him joking with my dad's mental illness, that I didn't tell him about). After that I chilled out and started being a decent friend (Or so I would like to think) but over 2025 he has been giving me subtle jabs, be it by exposing what I've done, making AI videos of me (Which I thought was funny, but now I don't know) Constantly telling me I have no friends calling me overly religious, a junkie, ugly, too sensitive, dumb, etcétera. I have laughed those comments off, since they are true lol, however, today he called me petty over me saying "all men are the same" which I said as a joke to him implying to another friend of ours he was gonna blow up his house on minecraft, and he said he should be the one in charge of our groupchat because I was clearly too emotional to handle it. I don't know why, but that coment set me off, I told him that if he wanted to be in charge of the groupchat he just had to ask, because I wasn't in the mood for this bs. I apologized in the groupchat (as it was just friendly banter, everyone else was laughing I killed the vibe) and apologized to him in private. He basically told me he was just like that to me, because one of his friends (17f) got mad at him. He refused to actually give me details and said she was on her period, hence why she got mad. I told him that wasn't funny, but then apologized and told him that I felt pretty tired of people lately, but I didn't want to just dissappear (I'm pretty active in groupchats, so me abruptly dissappearing could worry someone, and I don't want to be attention-seeking) he told me I was better off dissappearing, I left for a while, but after saying that, I felt better, and returned, thanking him for letting me get that off my chest and telling him I felt better. He replied almost annoyed, which left me feeling bad again. I basically analyzed our friendship, and realized just how much he has been doing jabs at me. I realized that even when he does something wrong I end up apollogizing, and lately this doesn't feel like friendship. Maybe he's right, I have no friends, but that would include him, however he never gave up on me, so it doesn't feel fair to do so now that he's reaching out