My (F24) dad (70) finally seems like he’s happy with his life for the first time in a long time. He and my mum (55) have been on again and off again for my whole life. Mum has often made us kids keep quiet about anything that she’s thought would stress out my dad or ruin her relationship with him.

The issue is that when I was 21 I was sexually assaulted by a trusted adult (M60s??). This person is someone that my dad has always hated.

I hid this for 3 years and didn’t tell anyone about until I was 24. My mum was one of the first people I told. When I told her, she cried and her first words to me were that if I tell my dad he’d leave her.

TBH I don’t care about my mum’s feelings. What I do care about is the fact that my dad is finally kinda happy with his life. My mum isn’t an honest person and she’s done a lot of shit things that my dad’s never really processed (he’s just an old-fashioned boomer I suppose). I’m worried that if I tell my dad, it’ll be added to the pile of things he never processed, he’ll leave my mum and be unhappy and lonely for the rest of his life.

I think that, because of what my mum is like, I really hate being dishonest and hiding things from the people I care about. I feel like hiding this from him is adding to my stress and anxiety, because if he does somehow find out, all those things will happen anyway?

So WIBTAH if I tell my dad?

Edit: dad warned mum about this guy, and she stayed in contact with him anyway which is why he would leave her if he found out.